Lost In Translation

How do you deal with it? When it's raging on the inside - whatever the cause? How do you express it? Do you actually express it? Do you flare your frustration to the people around you or do you choose to surpress it on the inside? Or would you be the type who'd ignore it and choose to look at the brighter side of things?

I am angry now, you see. I am trying my very best to keep it inside and smile. I'm choosing to believe that I can be better than who I could be, given that I decide to burst. But would that be healthy? I mean, leaving it to settle on the inside could either be resolved by forgetting about it sooner or later or simply boil up and accumulate to be something that's just uglier than before. But as for now, I'm quiet. I'm smiling. I'm tolerating. And so far, I think it's going pretty well.

But it doesn't really help when the source of it is a constant, now is it? When it's something that's not going to go away soon, if at all, depending on how much of a pessimist I am. And it doesn't help as well when it's constantly in my face. And it's not learning. It's not changing. Not for the better. 'Better' being the way I see things, that is. Yes, it's true that it can all come down to a battle of bias. It's not my way, you see. So that sucks. And that pisses me off. But on this case, actually, I think I have the right to be angry.

But I'm not just angry at one thing. There are other factors as well that are internal actually, in contrast to an external factor. I am angry with myself. For the silly mistakes I've made today and the past few weeks. And for the costs it has implied upon others. For things I should'nt have done, and others I should have. For the lack of responsibility shown that I should have, and for the failure to care for what should really matter.

I feel like swearing right now. But I don't want to give in to it. I don't want to give in to Anger. I believe that I can be better than that, that I can be more gracious to those who anger me, and that I can be a better person for myself to correct the mistakes of the past. But what if they just never learn? What happens if this continues on a longer term? How patient can I be?

So Anger.
How do you deal with it? I'm not too sure for myself.
Do you? Care to enlighten me?