Lost In Translation

i don't get it.
i really don't.
i turn to look at those i loved, only to find they're no longer whom i want. did the world move so fast i fell behind? or did i spin so hard, i've lost it? who i am today i don't know anymore. this person in the mirror i see, a stranger i do not recognise. i'm so uncomfortable with who this person is. it's not me. i don't know you. i don't think i want to. are you even good or evil? a hybrid made of compromise? i dare not venture forward. this place is so uncomfortable. but i just don't want to move on.

this is stupid.
here i am waiting for something that's not going to happen to happen. hoping for the forbidden. losing grip of the love i have. where's my miracle? where's my promise? where are you? i think i made a wrong turn somewhere. all i see are dark grey clouds. and i am overcome with fear. selfish fear. for myself. i don't want to go back to where i was. it was pleasant. it was good. i was on a high. but it feels so fake now. a distant memory. the gravity of this world's pulling me down. i am blinded by 'reality'.

why this tragedy?
the curtains are far from being drawn in this play. the writer has yet to put down the pen. but the actor is tired. he is thinking of a career change. but how can he let the company down? where does he have to go? the world out there is a scary place. there is shelter here. guidance. teachings. directions from the director. the show must go on. tis the point of it all, isn't it? he needs a drink.

i can only hope.

"let your love be strong, and i don't care what goes down
let your love be strong enough to weather through the thunder cloud
fury and thunder clap like stealing the fire from your eyes
all of my world hanging on your love"
- jon foreman

[edit: i think i'm having my man-period]