Lost In Translation

And so my exam finally begins.
My first paper tomorrow morning - the first paper to start off all exams - my giant to slay.

I can do it!

Monday 4th June - Accounting for Corporate Entities
Wednesday 13th June - Financial Accounting
Friday 15th June - Audit & Assurance Services
Tuesday 19th June - Introductory Personal Finance

Goodnight, folks. And pray for my best.
Please.
Hehe...

Opocot! My blog is cacated.

I am not sure what's happening as the codes still look the same. I didn't touch it. It was fine last night. So I have no idea where to start.
Great.
The links on my sidebar were my only directory to blog-browsing, which we all know is simply essential during this exam-study period. Almost as much as youtube.

Speaking of youtube, I'm so tempted to post a coupla cheap videos up here. Great, cheap videos, to be exact. I'm just worried about people blaming me for their poor results then 'cause I posted youtube videos, and just like Pringles, once you pop (with youtube), you just can't stop. But I can't help it. Just like the gospel, you can't afford to not share the good news once you've heard it! So instead, I'm not gonna post any youtube videos here, but I'll say something like...

"CheckoutFlightoftheConchordsHERE!"

I know I've shown this to some of you earlier this week already, but seriously, they've got great stuff! My favourites would have to be Jenny, Business Time, and Issues (Think, Think About It). So uh... yes. Don't watch them. I hold no liability for any effects it will have on your study time. And don't say I didn't tell you not to watch them because I did even though they're really great (stupid) videos.

...........................................................

On another note, I think I did alright yesterday. Thanks for the messages and prayers. Really appreciate it heaps.
Next paper's in about a week's time. It's time for me to hit the library now.
:)

[edit]: So apparently Erwin fixed my blog by posting a comment. Upon posting it, my sidebar miraculously returned. Wow.
Does that even make sense?

I don't quite wanna be anywhere else but home.

Heh. I know it's quite funny to have home represented by a kaya toast, but I honestly can't think of anything better than that at the moment. It's what makes Kluang Kluang. That and its coffee - Uncle Jack's coffee. Best coffee in Malaysia. And some say Singapore too.

A lot of things are happening in Malaysia at the moment. I know for one, cckl is hosting Hillsong this weekend. The following weekend, Planetshakers will be there as well, again hosted by cckl. I think they're conducting Planet Worship or something. I wish Matt would smuggle me in with one of his huge luggages, but I don't think he'd agree it's a good idea.

Most of my friends back there are in their holidays too at the moment. I think. But Yvonne's working. And so is Merv. And Sho's still having her exams, if I'm not mistaken. Tit - I mean, Vivek's still in the UK. God knows what Jia Wei's doing. Okay, so maybe not many of them are in their holidays. But ly is. And so is Mel, who only had two exam papers here and went back a couple of days ago. She sends her love.

Obviously I whinged and cursed.

Great.
But I guess aside this all, I'm doing okay. Not my best, but still okay. I still wish I could get this over with as soon as possible. I have about a week between the end of my exams and my leaving for home. I intend to spend every day of it to its fullness. I don't know how. But I think it'd definitely involve getting out of this city.

I'll keep you all posted on that. ;)

But I still heart helium.

[edit: it's been over 3 weeks since i've had coffee. yay]

I have one more paper to go.
Thank God it's on Tuesday. I have roughly four days to study it up. Roughly because that includes today. Two of the three days are the weekend. Sunday's got church. So that sorta narrows things a little tighter down then. And today, I don't think I feel like picking up a book to read. In fact, no paper would do just fine today. I've been reading medium print all week, devoting at least 9 to 12 hours a day staring at substantive and control testing in audit procedures as well as theories on how earnings management takes place and why companies have incentives to disclose their financial reports all week. So that's two down between Wednesday and this morning. And it doesn't help that I have to get up at 8am to walk to the exam hall at 8 degrees. I could barely see 200 meters ahead of me this morning in the fog.

But it's okay. Thank You, God for a new day everyday. And a semi-new hour every time I take a nap in between study. I now have only one more to go. I can do it. The last time I felt so tired from studying was probably about two years ago in my first year of uni. At the end of my exams I had to let it all out so I splurged.
I worry I might come to such a point again...

Nevertheless, I've devised some plans to keep myself busy within the one week after my exams finish and before I leave for home. Ideas keep pouring into my head as I was studying all week and they all just seemed to keep getting better and better. Some too much for this fragile little body, in fact. But nevertheless, here are a few I'm certain I wanna do before I leave:

1) 2a.m. - 3a.m. coffee or rendezvous at Pancake Parlour (condition myself for Malaysian timezone and nightlife!)
2) Catch a sunrise
3) Hit a beach at night. Port Melbourne is such a sweet hangout spot in the cold, in the dark
4) Movie marathon! My place! People come!
5) Bendigo/Ballarat daytrip. Not sure which because I confuse the two
6) Gym! (I should)
7) And last but not least, spend some quality time with Esther

More suggestions are welcome.
I can't wait.
When Tuesday has come to pass, all heaven breaks loose...

It's finally time to start hitting the beach in the dark. Have supper at 3a.m. And perhaps get a little lost again.

I'm so happy it's over. I can't say that I left the exam hall earlier today on a good note, though. The paper was tough, and reactions were mixed. Some found it fairly easy. Others were as confused as I was. I can just hope for a pass, maybe. :(

Nevertheless, I was good. I didn't splurge.
Well, not much anyway. God is good. He celebrated my hard work by having the Myer Stocktake Sale opening up the very evening I have my last exam paper. I was very happy to be able to find awesome jeans by Kenji Urban at $45. Finally, for the first time in almost a decade (not exaggerating), I bought my first pair of black jeans. Slim jeans rock. Erwin (and Esther too, I think) were shocked to find that I was a size 28. It fits juuuuusssttt nice. More motivation to go to the gym now. Yes, yes. It's all coming into play now. My masterplan is at schedule.

I'm okay. Life will start looking up again. No more stress. No more library visits. Not for another 2 months, at least.
I'm out.

So, if you haven't noticed the change, you're either:
a) Probably new, or
b) Blind

I was happy with my old template. It's just that it's been around for almost 3 years now and sometimes, we need to start afresh. Especially since listeningpoint's movabletype engine has recently been upgraded to version 3.5. Default templates look so much funkier now. And I needed change. Something simpler.

Hence, this. Hope you'll find it 'soothing' too. Whatever that means.

Six days. That's how much time left I have to stick around here before I go back home. It's exciting, yet at the same time, a little sad. I know I feel this way all the time when going back for holidays. I can so see it coming now. I'll feel sad for leaving, but once I'm there, I don't really wanna come back. Such is the grip of mamak. Well, not really.
I'll only be away for about 3 weeks, in contrast to 3 months last time. So it'll be okay, I hope.

A lot of things have been happening around me recently. (Note: 'around', not 'to'). 'Life' things, if I may call it. With relationships, especially. It's as if a season had just ushered in to bring about an awareness of such an element. As of the past month, I've learnt that three couples around me have broken up, three others are in long distance relationships, online pick-ups actually work, one has taken a new step, and one has found faith to love a daring love. It makes me wonder about how people say that things don't happen without a reason, and that it all has to mean something. What does this mean then? When do you draw the line between a 'sign' or revelation, and pure 'coincidence'? Okay. 'Coincidence' is too random. There is no coincidence. But you get what I mean.

Anyway, in case you're wondering, Esther and I are doing fine. Our 3rd 'anniversary' together is coming up soon, but I won't be around. Which really sucks (duh) because this would be the second time I've missed our 'anniversary' as I was back in Malaysia this time last year as well (oh). I guess these next few days have to really count. :)

Alright, alright. I should stop now. My 30 minutes of pondering has come to an end. It's back to partying for the exam-free kid in Melbourne.
Have a great remainder of the week.

p/s: it was free too.
;)

The nights are getting good.
Silas was over just the other night to cook us some dinner. I've always heard of Silas the chef. Now I know Silas the chef.

He came to my place with little ingredients and heaps of faith.
"Dave, do you have a blender?"
"Dave, can I use your milk?"
"Dave, do you have a muffin tray?"

He really is some kinda genius. Due to some unforeseen circumstances, his original dish couldn't be prepared, and so he improvised. What you see above doesn't have a name. It was made up just there and then. And it was delicious. It's a pity I had late lunch that day. I could've had more.

Esther, Lydia and Charmian were there too. We had chicken soup and garlic bread before and ice-cream after to accompany. Dinner was awesome. But not as awesome as the beach, when we hit Port Melbourne straight after in the dark cold.
Yay. That's another one off my list.

Quiet time at the beach was short-lived, however, to my disappointment. The majority were complaining about the cold. So we moved on to the Parlour for some pancakes and scrabble.

By the time we all got home, it was nearly three. But the night was still beckoning for me to explore, and so I took a slow drive to Victoria Harbour after dropping everyone off at home.
The night was bewitching, I tell you. I've come to the conclusion that despite the quietness and the could-have-beens (or could-be's) people perceived it to be, I actually think that Docklands is rather romantic.

It was great, just walking along the harbour at night. There wasn't anybody in sight. The waters were still. And lampposts stood like mushrooms as the night-sky casted its darkness across the floor.
I took some photos and talked to God. And thanked Him for everything He's done in my life.

.............................................

I can't seem to sleep tonight, I'm not sure why. Nothing which has turned into something is on my mind. I wish this restlessness would go away.

No, this doesn't really have anything to do with the food, really.
As I said before, the nights are getting better. After a nice dinner with friends to celebrate Esther's birthday, I headed to the beach again. This time, under a clear dark sky.

I got a bunch of friends to tag along as well. Erwin and Steph on my bandwagon, Charmian with a posse of her own as well. It was real good fun scribbling nothings in the sand, running along the pier (to keep the body warm, apparently), and screaming ridiculous into the open sea, like "kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimchi!" or "sawadeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekap!" and "kiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasu!!"

I never want such nights to end. And I never want to grow out of this.
There's a sense of recklessness yet security in it. A safe spot isolated from the rest of the world. It's that feeling of smallness you get when you look up at the stars and be amazed at the solar system. I like that feeling. It's not just the awe of God's works and creation. It's that smallness too that I love. Feels as though I'm small enough to be able to hide away anytime I want in all this bigness, which of course, in reality is meaningless. But feelings fuel. And that was enough for last night.

Erwin became a ghost.

After beach, we got hungry and headed to McDonald's for some supper. That got rather interesting when we found out that there was a gaybar nearby and it had just began closing (this was at about 3ish in the morning). Suspicion first arose when we saw a 'chick' walking around in the skimpiest of skirts (remember it's winter), showing of 'her' rather slender legs, only to be matched with a rather... uh... masculine face. Still, there was room for doubt, until she walked into the Gents. Thank God I wasn't in there when she walked. I would've screamed profanities, I swear. Macca's was literally packed with homo's (which, for the record, I do not condemn). I thought that was amusing.

A really interesting night it was. Had a lot of fun and laughs. Charmian's posse of internationals are hilarious.

I want more.

Heh. Melodramatic me is back.
I can't believe my flight is just in 12 hours from now. Hoping I haven't forgotten anything before I leave. I'm only going to be away for three and a half weeks. But it has seems as if the polars have switched rather dramatically.

I'm in no shape to leave right now.

I'm having too much fun, I think. That and a couple more other matters. There's people I still need to meet. People I need to talk to. Things in my head to sort out. Life matters to think about. Perhaps this time away will do me good. I know I'll enjoy my time back home. But I worry that it will only serve as far as a distraction from the real matters I have at hand; and that when I come back here to start uni again, I'm still back at square one.
I feel a little torn.

...................................

Yesterday was good. In fact, it was near perfect. All except for when I screwed up and lost my way and missed the sunset.
I drove Esther, Charmian, and Winnie down to the Mornington Peninsular for a daytrip.
We collected seashells, scribbled our names in the sand, sat on Arthur's Seat, saw a great portion of the west coast from the top of a mountain, had good lunch, patted some horses, got lost in a maze, bought a pair of gnomes and wind chimes, and rushed to catch the sunset (only to be blocked by a mini-peninsular).
I brought and soaked two pairs of shoes in the process, and ended up driving home bare-footed too.

I loved every minute of it. And I mean it.
But I have to get out of here.

p/s: some photos can be found here.

[edit:

"Whatever those things are that make you feel fully alive and like the universe is ultimately a good place and you are not alone, I need a faith that doesn't deny these moments but embraces them. I need a spiritual understanding that celebrates these kinds of transcendent moments instead of avoiding them. These moments can't be tangents. They can't be experiences that distract from "real" faith. These moments can't exist on the edges, because they are part of our faith. A spirituality that is real will have to make sense of them and show us how they fit. They are expressions of what it means to live in God's world."

You know you're no longer in Melbourne when you look out your window and see an electrician hanging along the rails of a 15th floor balcony by only his left arm with no safety harness while fixing an air-conditioner with his right.
I rushed for my camera but when I got back he was done already. I don't know. I didn't see him. Maybe he fell. I'll check later on my way out the carpark.

I've been back for almost a day. It's quite a weird feeling. Most of my friends who live around me here in KL aren't here. Correction: None are here. Not to say that's a bad thing. With fingers crossed (only because they're so busy with their own social lives), I could catch up with the jyg, test out y's 360, catch up with the cckler's, as well as my classmates, whom both are mostly in Subang - a nice half an hour from my place without traffic. Jezza's been a champ though. Messaged me two nights ago saying he's got a spare ticket for Transformers. That man's a prophet. So that's my itinerary for the night, I guess. And tomorrow evening, I'm heading back down to Kluang with my brother Mervin.

Mum has been updating me with the latest local goss and news. Yes, there's a distinction between the two. For the latter, I'm sad to say that life around has been getting rather bad. The crime rate for one, has been shooting up the roof with Johor Bahru leading the pack (rather proudly too, I'd imagine). Snatch thieves and daylight robberies (no, the literal one, not the ridiculous shopping-prices kind) are getting out of hand. It's no longer safe even for the streetwise in JB these days. So to my Singaporean friends who enjoy crossing the sea for some late night food and shopping, you may want to think twice (or perhaps thrice) now. Mum even elaborated on how robbers stretch a rope across a street to smack motorcyclists off their bikes and rob them. Creative, I must admit. But not something to be proud about.

I'm glad though that my trusted DVD shop in Hartamas is still open. The boss there is a great guy and knows his movies rather well too. Not many do. I'll need to pop by a bit later to pick up some titles. I hope I can get a copy of Hors de Prix on DVD. That'd be great, even though I've watched it already. I've so far got this movie called Three Times, a love story set in three different eras; three different reincarnations, but one unfinished love by one same couple. I can't wait to pop it in my player. Dad bought a plasma. If I told you the deal he got, you'd probably die like watching the Ring tape. So I won't.

I bought a book today. The 13½ lives of Captain Bluebear. It's RM50 here. It's AUD$32 in Melbourne. I just saved RM50 from not buying it earlier.
Also thinking of getting a Haruki Murakami book. Been recommended heavily by a friend, but don't know which one to start with. Any suggestions? Books are so much cheaper here.

I've learnt today that much can change in 6 months. More obvious are those that you've been away from. Like changes back here. It's obvious when I've been in Melbourne during the semester and I'm back now to see it. But more importantly and dangerous are the changes which I've been going through back in Melbourne which are material yet easily looked over due to familiarity (like a child's growth, for instance; where it's harder to notice he's grown taller and bigger if you see him everyday). It takes my return here, away from Melbourne, to be able to have an unbiased view of what's been going on; looking back as if a reel of film replayed.
It's a scary journey I've taken so far. And what the future holds God only knows. Which is good too, I guess. But sometimes I just wish I knew what He's thinking too. I rarely get any opinions from Him regarding certain decisions or contemplations I go through. It's as if He's left me alone to make up my mind, saying 'Either way will do, boy. It's just a matter of what load you want to carry and if you're ready for the consequences'. And I don't like that. I'd rather Him tell me what He wants and I'll try my best to obey. It's so much easier that way.
I don't know what I want anymore.

Anyway, I think I should sign off now. If you've read this far, I applaud you. You're a good friend and listener, and I thank you for that.
Now I should hit the gym before my size 28 jeans starts betraying me. :)
I love this place.

p/s: Silas Liew, if you're reading this, you're a clown. I dialed the number you gave me and a nice lady picked up and talked to me in Malay saying the number I've called doesn't exist. Please check your email soon, so I can pass you Sharene's card for you to sop over and you can buy me a meal that's not Nasi Lemak Seringgit.

i lie awake
under the curtain solar system
as every star was flickering
and dancing in its own silent spot
like the bobbing heads on my dashboard,
serenade; the symphony of crickets
with grass prickling on my back
and tickling around the back of my neck;
i'll stretch my hand sideways blindly
to find yours
and hold it as tightly as i could
yet gently
try to fall asleep
while my heart races