thanks, zakky for putting me up all this time! it's been good. =)

ever since i left kuching in early 1999, the KL mamak's and consistent fast food; piled up with lots of dairy and wintery months in 2000 onwards, the lowest i could ever go back to would be about 52 bordering 53kg. had already given up, but looks like this more healthy diet change has finally taken effect! okay, maybe not 'finally' coz it's only been a couple of months into it, but it's great! i still feel full, not like i'm starving myself and i feel great! can praise God more 'physically' and not be super puffed at the end. heh.

so...when i found out about this unbelievable news, i celebrated - unconsciously until dave pointed it out! an hour after dinner we went to lygon for coffee/hot choc and ended up with a beautiful serve of cheesecake, cream and strawberry.....mmm.....to my horror though, i couldn't finish it (even with dave sharing!). used to be able to scuffle down the whole thing!

Think of this: Which am I?
Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the Oolong tea? The tea actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the tea, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity?

May we all be OOLONG TEA !

Maybe this is the only way my body knows how to cry out for rest. Hopefully today, I'll love sleep more than I love work.

By the way, I read something 'good' interesting (as Wayne calls it) from 'the heart of worship files':

"Sometimes it can be tempting to strive to do something significant. We find ourselves wanting to write a significant song that will touch many hearts or lead a significant time of worship in which lives are truly changed.

But we are not called to significance. (Huh?? my first response)
Instead, the calling is to obedience. (Oh)

Look through the Bible and see how obedience reaps some major, significant outcomes. Look at Moses or Noah for example. Ultimately, look at Jesus and the Cross. The most significant act in all of history was one of sheer, humble, enduring obedience.

Whether we're called to be up in front or behind the scenes, obedience is always significant in the eyes of God."

Obedience cries out for me to stop doing and rest.
Significance pesters me to keep doing.

Really cannot stress what a blessing my time here has been, including last year at my previous role.

Speaking about the weekend, I've just signed up with City Library on Flinders Lane and gonna go there tomorrow to pick up my membership card. yay! Love books...hopefully the collection there's good! Nice quiet weekend coming right up!

With only 3 hrs of sleep last night (which I'm totally not complaining, coz God got me started with a word study on 'increase' - my word for this year), my hunger since 4am overrode my sleepiness and at 6ish this morning, Billy, Wayne, Mike, my sis and I strolled into Margo's @ Crown for a $12 buffet breakfast. The fresh morning air (as fresh as city air can be) gradually woke me up in time for me to enjoy bacon, sausages, scrambled eggs, toast, pastries, orange juice, tea. Missed out on the hash browns, baked beans, friend rice and noodles, fresh fruit etc., but I'll be sure to head back there on another Saturday!

Came home after a couple hours of food, awesome company, and collapsed into bed...satisfied.

Might be heading back to our 'qv' tonight for the Hawker's Bazaar (Chinese New Year celebrations by the river) - wanna catch the lion dance!

S:
Romans 7:22-25
For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members.
What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord!

O:
Paul describes himself to have two contradicting parts: 1. Inner being slave to God's law and 2. Sinful nature slave to the law of sin. Rebellion is the main spirit from the sinful nature. But thank God for His Son, Jesus Christ, who saves us - continually! Not just at salvation but our entire life's journey home.

A:
This week is turning out to be such a long and hard week - especially at work. The spirit of excellence, patience, grace, persistence is definitely warring big time against the spirit of frustration, irritation and offense! They are squeezing me for every last drop before I move on to my new role - feels like there's nothing left in me but God's grace alone.
A little tired yet more amazed by the power of God's grace. The reality of its sufficiency...teaching me to live a life of jubilee.

P:
Dearest God,

Thank you for the refreshing and mind renewing power of your Word. I could never do this without You, without Your grace. Keep teaching me to live a life labeled JUBILEE.

Word made flesh.

Amen.

As I went through the whole application process, it really set my mind and heart in striving for excellence wherever God has placed me and whatever He has given me to do. And from there, it seemed to take on a life of its own! Got called in for the 1st interview (which I was totally prepared - thanks to my colleague, Katrina, who 'happened' to have bought a book on job interviews and lent it to me 2 weeks before I even knew I had an interview); then 2 weeks (that was yesterday) I got called in for the 2nd interview. Then again, the 2nd interview didn't feel much like a 2nd interview coz the panel was doing most of the talking - explaining in more detail what was required in the role. At the end of it, the CEO said that she will still need to think about it a bit more to decide which candidate is more suitable. So, naturally I thought, I'll probably only find out like earliest mid-next week. And went back to my desk, had a good chat with one of my bosses...

A half hour later, Rachimah comes to me with a serious look on her face and said, "Dale (the CEO) wants to see you now." Immediately, I thought, "Can't be that she's decided so soon?!" At this point, I thought it could be a yes or a no...

She told me to take a seat, and I did - but within half a second, she smiled and said, "Congratulations!" I stood back up and thanked her crazily, shaking her hand - all this time trying to calm myself down and listen to the finer details of the progress forward.

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!! I got a new job! Thank you, God!

Then, Mike called out my name, and I was, “Yep.”…ready to start complaining about the flower shop until he said, “Delivery for you!”. It was from my darling Dave, who’s currently in Malaysia. My workmates were all over my case – more amazed than teasing. One casual worker who hardly knew me even came up to me and asked how long Dave and I have been married! Hehe. I quickly corrected her and she was like, “I wish my husband would get my flowers!”

Immediately rang Dave on his mobile to thank him for the amazing roses (30 roses, one for each month!):

And they even came with the cutest teddy bear ever:

Have no camera of my one, 'best' option was my sister's mobile camera.

Flushed and all smiley, I trammed and walked 2 blocks home carrying my roses and bear. Usually, I walk pass serious faces intent on getting home asap (me admittedly being one of them), but that day, wherever I’d make eye contact, smiles would break out. And might I add, the roses were heavy!

Thanks, Dave. I am so honored and proud to be in this journey together with you. From the challenges and the growth we have been through in the last 30 months, I am excited to see what is yet to unfold in the coming months! Love you, babe.

I learnt from Russell that I have power. Power means ability, efficiency and might.

I learnt from Chris that the devil attacks my identity, my worship, my time, my power of transformation. I also learnt that Jesus, in His weakest (40 day fast), is more powerful than the devil at its peak.

I learnt from Sam who Jesus is. I also learnt to ask myself daily who Jesus is, reminding myself that he is the I AM, everything I need.

I learnt from Neil that it is okay to have a desire to make money to fund the extension of God’s Kingdom. I also learnt that I need to identify and live the three seasons of Finance in God’s Kingdom: to Learn, to Earn and the Return phase.

I learnt from Jurgen that I am a voice for this generation. I am a Rainmaker like Elijah: God’s mouthpiece, God’s passion, God’s authenticity, God’s grace that repairs altars, God’s sacrificial love and Jesus’ intercessions.

I learnt from Reggie that I was a Naomi but am now a Ruth. The bitter pill was swallowed, the altar has been rebuilt, the chians holding me back have been cut.

I learnt from Chris that I have killed the lion and the bear in my personal life. And I am ready now to take on Goliath.

I learnt from Jurgen that my life is walked with the same limp that Jacob received at Peniel. This limp is my receipt of my transaction with the Almighty God.

I learnt from Matt that I have the power to stand against the pressures of society, the power to heal, the power to rebuke the enemy and the power to witness.

I learnt from Reggie that I am part of a generation that is taking everything the enemy has robbed… BACK!

I am a planetshaker born to fight. Amen.

We started off at a house we rented - beautiful, and quite a view though a bit of a distance from the ocean. Then, found out (after we had unpacked ALL the food and began settling in) that apparently the owner of the place (who was in Thailand) had promised this house to a friend of his at that same weekend we rented it! A car load of us drove to the real estate agent whom we rented this place from to 'sort it out'. When I first heard it, I was like 'noooo. we are so not moving - we've already marinated the food for the bbq tonite. what a pain!'. The contract, however, said otherwise 'may be subject to change if notified by the owner'. The agent then mentioned that she will do her very best in finding us an alternative accommodation.

I was at the house with a few others when we heard the news for the group with the agent. Honestly, was quite disappointed, but what could we do? After all, this house does belong to the owner. So we started packing up (in record time, I should add!) and when the rest of the group came back from the agent, we huddled together and started praying. It was amazing! The atmosphere changed - hopelessness and disappointment were replaced immediately with a rising faith and we progressed from asking for a new place to declaring for a place that would be better than this 1st house. We then followed the agent to look at 2 properties, and finally decided on the 2nd one. Not only did God give us a better and newer and bigger place, He gave us more than 1 to choose from! To add to that, the 2nd one was actually $50 more per night than our 1st booking, but the agent waived that fee. Woo-hoo! And...the view was AMAZING. Standing just outside of the driveway, when we looked to the right, it was a downhill road with the ocean in the horizon!

Though it took us till 6pm on the Friday to settle in and get the bbq going, twas all worth it. Better still, we were tired, but pumped up for a great weekend with each other and with God. And it was.

(photos of the weekend available on Dave's photo blog here)

I am believing for my colleagues to come to know God. Even now, with more frequency than months before, I can see the fear of God springing forth from their hearts - expressed in their speech! Just a few days ago, one colleague said, " I'd be swearing my top off right now (a horrible incident happened over the phone), but coz Esther's here, I won't or I'll offend her " and just today, another colleague got ticked off about something and swore with God's name in there somewhere - immediately after that, looked up to me and said, "Oh sorry! I should not use the Lord's name in vain!" Heh.

Wasn't too sure how to react in those situations, except a "Thanks" and an agreeing smile. The atmosphere in this place is changing day by day! Holy Spirit saturate my workplace and let the Lord's name be feared!