I don't think I've blogged about this before: I'm taking singing lessons. You know, like paying for it and everything. It's been going on for 6-7 months (with a long break in between when I was back in Malaysia). And I love it. Not because it is fun - and it is - but because I'm actually learning heaps from it. i believe that I had improved in terms of singing too... give me two more years, and i believe that I will be ready for bands and gigs.

I was practising to the song I Believe I Can Fly, and realized (for the hundred-th time that year) that my voice sounds incredibly childish. Man, it's going to take so long before I can really do this song...

"If I can see it
Then I can do it
If I just believe it
Then I can sing this song"

i believe. I wanna start writing songs!

Anyway, I think it's time to change the layout of my blog. It's getting really dry. God, please grant me the time and creativity and skill to do so...

Something tells me that that's not the best way to do it. *sigh*. I need help.

Oh well. i believe.

Been doing lotsa chores since I got back, and I'm still not finished. I got the essentials done though...

I just can't decide which looks better(when my Sony Ericsson was in its prime)

Not the only thing that's new though... After all I did brought a LARGE empty luggage to KL, and came back with a full one.

Notice anything different?

No, I didn't dye my computer black... I bought a new one! Too bad my room was so dark(light bulbs blew again - which happens as often as I eat) that I can't see the details of my new (sleek, black) computer on my CRT monitor. Maybe you LCD-ans can see it?

Can you identify the biggest(bigger than my CRT monitor) computer piece in the picture? It's that big black thingy beside my CPU casing. That's the subwoofer of my dream-speakers Logitech Z5500 5.1 that's THX certified, with built-in Dolby Digital Prologic II and 96/24 DTS decoders. Basically, it's amazing. Oh, it has a remote control too.

Here's some more stuff I brought back with me...

Just small stuff for memento(though not intentionally brought back)

My MAS boarding pass(part of it)! I was sitting between two chinese-malaysian girls on the plane, who were friendly enough for a comfortable trip. No, they weren't particularly attractive, Dave. And they weren't "friendly" either, so knock it out of your head.

The large steel nail-clipper somehow managed to slip into my laptop bag right before I left the house. I hope my sisters wouldn't mind the smaller, 70% plastic nail clippers that were left in the house. Good thing their nails were a lot softer than mine - I broke nail clippers before... more than once. Anyway, I really didn't intentionally take the nail clipper with me. Really.

Well, when I thought I had done nearly everything(with the exception of washing my bedsheet, pillow sheets, grocery shopping etc since they weren't critical), I found out that my new mobile phone service STILL hasn't commence, my Optus mobile service is still connected, and the power supply for my computer casing isn't working properly.

Do you think I'm able to fix everything in one day? Uni's starting next week.

I've done an internet research on it(for my sis' sake), and found out that Dengue aren't all that dangerous. Most types are in fact, harmless - which is the type I hoped that my sister has got. If her platelet-count dropped any lower she had to be admitted into the hospital, but for now, aside from the weakness, rashes and fever, she's pretty normal.

One of the more dangerous types of Dengue, is the Hemorrhage(aka bleeding) one. This one basically causes the patient to bleed more frequently, which had to be countered by blood transfusion(my mom and I has blood-type O, so she'll be fine). But I'm more afraid of the other - which is the most dangerous type - called the Dengue Shock Syndrome. This one tend to happen to patients under ten(fortunately, my sister is comfortably above ten). Patients with this can have fever one minute and then hypothermia the next. This condition may put the patient into shock. Once the patient is in shock, the chance of fatality is beween 10% - 45%.

That's why I hope that my sister got one of the harmless strains, which she most probably do. But please pray for her anyways, thanks.

It's amazing to read a testimony of a fellow Christian. It was so vivid - the emotions, the pain, the chaos. And yet, the siblings were able to remember God and his cause, praying even for others, and even bringing a local and several foreigners to Jesus. They were afraid, yes, but their faith held them together.

I never realised how powerful faith was. I always thought it was weak, and was unable to help in needed times. But, I was stupid - it's faith after all. We may not sense God through the mass & media of the Phuket incident, and may not see his miracles anywhere in the news, but He definitely was - is - helping every individual involved or not with Phuket. I just understood:

God is not a superstar.

He doesn't show himself on the media like the famous actors and singers. Instead, he helps each one of us as an individual. He's not an idol that we see on television. We could worship and declare our love to our favorite Hollywood idols all day, but we'll never get the chance to talk to them. God, on the other hand, we never see him making big visual miracles during disasters. Instead, he helps each one of us by hand.

Nope, He has no interest in producing extravagant miracles so we can awe at his works. It was us that He wants - for us to be so close to Him, that we bring about little miracles through Him in our world. It's the difference of knowing an image and knowing a heart. God loved us enough to offer us his heart instead of his image. Love ya.

I saw this hilarious quote on the Orchard Road of Singapore:
The joy of Christmas giving begins with shopping.

Man, that's really too much!

Haven't been doing much (or anything at all), apart from going to Singapore (and back), eating around several places in (and out) Selangor, caving in Bukit Teringgi (or was it just Tinggi?), mutiple vists to Lau Yat, Mid Valley, KLCC, and the cinemas in them, etc, etc, etc. Uneventful, right?

Oh a cousin of mine got Denggue('Denggi' in Malay, carried by the Aedes mosquito) recently, not surprising because I heard stories like 'whole family but one got infected in Taman Desa(where I live)'. It's the Denggue season now, apparently. We visited her after she left the ICU(Intensive Care Unit, which means like the name suggests) - she looked so stoned and pale, which was apparently better than before, when she was bed-ridden and spoon-fed. She was smiling, and could still make jokes, so I guess she'll be fine. Just glad she hadn't got Denggue when she was pregnant. THAT, would be a disaster.

My elder sister got a BBC boyfriend. Like 'ABC', it stands for 'British-Born-Chinese'. He certainly had the English accent. Wonder what's with the 'BCs and heavy accents. He seemed like a nice fellow(he's here for holidays for a month... no doubts just to see my sister), and he gets along with my younger sister and I. While some people don't believe in long-distance relationships(even Malaysia-Singapore), both of them actually managed to pull it off for six months! London and Selangor's nearly opposite ends of the globe man...

I just read a few more fiction - Lady Gil by Rebbecca-something. Love the wry-humor.

Yesterday my family woke up early in the morning and arrived at the My-Card registration booth(?) at about 9am. However when we were there they told us that it is 'full' and we had to come back some other time, and also told my elder sister that her hair needed to be of the natural colour (black). Dissappointed, we went home.

Next morning, we woke up earlier (by only a slight) and arrived the booth at 8:30am. This time we got a number... with about two hundred people waiting before us.

That guy then pointed at my younger sister and said "Dia next year September baru buat. Kalau buat my-card sekarang untuk dia tak guna."

Obviously since my sister was already there, we protested, but he insisted that they won't do it for her, and that she returns there after her 18th birthday. Funny thing was they never had that policy before that. Man, don't they have a place where the complete requirements of the My-Card to be displayed? Its just terrible that they keep sending people home a few times because of some hidden requirements...

Anyway, that guy told us that our turn won't arrive until after 9:30am for sure (one hour), so we went for breakfast. Fortunately for my sister we had just enough time to send her home. I remember trying very hard to sleep when we got back to the booth, and only after two very painful hours, my turn arrived. I've forgotten what it was like to be a Malaysian...

Then everything was a flash. They even gave me a temporary IC (since mine was stolen), but I had to pay RM20 of course. They took a picture of me in a nice black shirt (which I'll never ever wear in Malaysia again. Long sleeved black shirts aren't the most climate-smart choice for Malaysians). But the picture turned out to be stretched sideways, making me look roundish. Or am I roundish?

I so hope I don't have wait this long for my new driving license...

(Call me crazy, but long queues has become one of Malaysia's most endearing trait.)

Heard of the fiction 'Airframe'? Dave might have, since he's getting free copies from newspapers. Bet'cha've been reading more of Crichton than the newspapers themselves right? Anyway, since I had three hours before the plane takes off, I got myself that book for entertainment. I knew what it was about, but I had not realised its 'relevance' until I saw Jeremy.

---

I looked up to rest my eyes after reading ten pages of Airframe when I saw Jeremy Ngoh. He saw me as well and waved. He and his mum was sending their cousin off, so we talked for about five minutes. Right before Jeremy and his mum left, he pointed at my book and said, "I've read that book."

"Really? How was it?"

"It's a really good book. Highly recommended reading."

"Good thing I bought this," I replied excitedly and grinned. Looks like I'm going to have a good time.

"Yep," he said and turned away. Just as he was about to leave, he turned to me again. "But don't read it before you get on the plane!" he warned suddenly.

Then I realised it. "Oh." The book was about planes. Crichton writes thriller/horror fiction. And I was getting on a plane. "Crap."

---

So when I did get on the plane, I watched a movie instead. I chose to watch 'The Terminal', since it was a Tom Hanks movie. When I told my sister much later, they told me they found the fact that I watched 'The Terminal' on the plane funny, since that the movie was about an airport. I couldn't resist telling them about 'Airframe'.

I reached home at about half past seven, and my sister was already awake. We ended up talking a lot about movies, waking up my elder sister just to get the movies, and then the three of us talked some more. Sensing the oppurtunity, I showed off my iPod and Airport Express, which they turned out to be less impressed that I had hoped. Oh well. Then wanted my help to set up a wireless for their laptop. Since they already had a wireless router, it was easy to set up. However the signal was too weak upstairs, so I told them to buy a signal booster. They showed me some hillarious clips they got from the net, and I downloaded 'Gemilang' for them. Then we went for breakfast and I showed them some songs while they updated me on the 'must-watch' movies.

When my elder sister went back to sleep, and my younger sister went back to her room to study for her SPM, I sat down in my room, cherishing the temporary solitude. I looked at my watch and saw that it was 10:30am. I lay on my bed and I remembered thinking to myself that I had been here for too long - it's time to go back to Melbourne.

Yes, I miss Melbourne already. But I guess while I'm here, let's make the best out of it yeah? Home isn't too bad after all - it's good to be here, catching up with my family. Except that I truly felt more like a Melbournian than a Malaysian. I went to Mid Valley today and when I remembered thinking that the shop owners were very 'foreign'.

These three months is going to be so 'exciting'.

The thought of being home in Malaysia for 3 months still haven't really sunk in yet. I feel like I'm leaving home for three months instead. Man, who's going to take care of the house? What's gonna happen to the choir when everyone goes back? Is there anyone from the sound team who's still around?

And I don't even have a church in Malaysia... guess I'll go to SIB again. But, it feels so different... going to a church in KL is like going to a foreigner's church. Strong Malaysian accents, shorts and sandals the staple fashion, more hymnic songs etc. I've never been a fan of Hillsong or Planetshakers, but I'm already missing their music. Three months! What am I gonna do??

Anyway, thanks to Dave, I've become a semi-fan of Robbie Williams. He's such a brilliant swinger, and love his song 'Hot Fudge'. I still remember disliking him when I first saw him on MTV - the weird chain-mail-shirt that's partially see through and him singing as though he was about to eat the mic instantly made me turn away from him. So when I saw him in a suit I was really impressed.

By the way, if anyone knows what time service starts in SIB KL, and its direction from federal highway, I would appreciate you putting it somewhere I can see. I remember driving up University Road to a round-a-bout.

---- - ---- - ---- - ----

I don't feel too well...

At least I know that I should pass the first one, unless something went horribly wrong and I didn't realise it... like a mistake somewhere at the start of my 34marks question...

My next paper is on Friday, and I'm already losing the 'fire' I had for studying; suddenly the idea of not getting a 'H' is not so appalling after all...

God, please don't let the fire die... I still have another paper after that one

::Self promise::
Will never take clashing subjects ever, and will study continually throughout semester

(Wait, didn't I say that last semester and the semester before?)

Love was but an illusion
of a sad, denying soul
And yet I still had longed
for the lies, just so to escape

It isn't much different now is it?
Even after You found me

Right now I still feel the same
that I still am useless
Loneliness stronger than before
in a world that lies to itself

Love was lost to humankind
and yet we think we had it
I pretended it mattered not
fooled myself that You are enough

So what has changed, since that day?
Was anything different at all, I asked

Everything, You said, child of hope
you were useless only to yourself
Alone, since you let no one enter
and you are my truth in the world

Yes child, love was once lost to the world
but my Son had bled, to draw a map
So take the map and find my treasure
for all the love that I have, is yours

Then my eyes opened, the world had not changed
it was I, who now lived for the dawn
There was now hope in every tear and hurt
because You made me Your child of hope

this time i'm not waiting for my body to heal naturally - i'm going to the pharmacist for a potent medicine. i've alrady taken some vit-c tablets (which wouldn't help when i'm already sick), and i'm i planning to take a mucus-loosener mixture and something to kill off those !#@* invaders!

i planned on going to the library to study today, but i can't do that now can i? not when i have to blow my nose every minute and feel like my head's about to explode. so i studied at home... the dim lights made my head hurt so much worse. i had to sleep for 2 hours for every 30mins of studying.

and what about my scales? i had to put my vocal scales on hold today! i had prayed vigorously (but soundlessly) several times already, starting from a desperate plea to god to a furious threat against the flu (or cold or whatever). i asked no less than an instant healing of course, but it didn't come. if anything, it got worse. *sigh*. i'll just keep praying. and you too, hopefully?

i even had a nose bleed when i woke up - nothing serious, most probably because i blew my nose so hard that i scarred the airway. but then again, the blood was fresh and bright red. if i had bled through the night, wouldn't my blood harden? but it shouldn't matter, i had not bled after that.

i think i know what caused all of the flu i had had this year. it was singing. i noticed the pattern: sing(or shout) too hard, damage my throat, mucus collect, then flu. now that i know, i can prevent it. nobody told me that damaged throats are very susceptible to illnesses. man my head hurts.

its 6pm, pharmacists are all closed. and its time for dinner. guess medicine had to wait till tomorrow. where should i go? don't wanna see anyone. maybe i'll just get some mackers.

Anyone remember the time I didn't do my report because I didn't know its already due? It happened again - exactly the same way! (It said 'last Monday' which I somehow interpreted as 'last day' of semester. They really should give exact dates next time.)

So I just sent an apology letter and pointed out that I do not take the subject lightly, hoping that marks won't be deducted, much. I think some of you may remember that too. And like last semester, I won't be getting any sleep tonight. *sigh*

Come to think of it, last semester I missed a 5% test too. And I also handed in one of my lab report late. One missed test, one late lab report and one late posh report; that's exactly the same as this semester! Oh my gosh, this is getting scary.

This afternoon after lunch, while I was finishing up a project that needed to be handed in by 5pm, I remembered that I had another test coming up for my Physics subject. So I checked the course outline and found out that the test was on the 18th... I had missed it by five days and I wasn't even aware!

That's 5 marks literally thrown away. I really don't want to just throw away marks like that - 5 marks could almost definitely cut me down a whole grade! What should I do? I thought of going to the lecturer and beg for some kind grace marks or replacement test. I even thought of using my not-so-recent cough as an excuse for missing the test, even though I didn't have an MC. I don't know, maybe I should try both? I really can't just let go 5 marks.

I was coughing the whole night - literally - until I could hear birds chirping and see the sunlight pouring through my window. Whilst on other mornings it may seem like a dew from heaven casting its warm beam on home sweet home, on that week of sleepless nights it was more like hell flooding my sodden room. Those two weeks were meant to be my holidays, but there had to be a project that took exactly two full weeks of hard work. To top it off my parents just had to fly in for the last couple of days of my holidays to add a little 'climax' to it. There was a point that I thought that I was dead. No sleep, no rest, no voice, no life.

But that was weeks ago.

Those coughs had their side effects though. It appeared that not sleeping properly for a whole week had somehow hardwired a less desirable sleep pattern into my poor brain and body. Now I can't even sleep at 3am if I wanted to. And it seemed that my mind can only truly rest when sunlight pours into my room. Grrr. To make it worse, I missed all my morning lectures (and some afternoon ones) for the week after the holidays, because I could only wake up at 2pm, missing breakfast, lectures and lunch. Unfortunately there are more projects and assignments needed to be done, so I still get no rest. The only differences were that I was not coughing, and I had my voice back (no groaning!). And yet, it made a whole world of difference.

This morning however, was the first time that I woke up on time for a 10am lecture since I fell sick! Prospects are looking up already. I'm sleeping slightly better, though I still toss and turn on my bed till the birds chirp. Plus I started on my 20% project that's due on Friday (that's actually a disastrously late time to start, especially considering the fact that I've been missing lectures all semester). If I work hard enough (till I run out of brain cells?), I should be fine. And I've got some results of my projects back, but I really do not want to talk about it.

Anyway, the point is, I'm back. -]