September 22, 2004
One Year Old
Can you believe that the ulcer on my left leg is 1 year old? What does that mean? Simple:
1 year of open wound
1 year of bandage and dressing
1 year of emotional unrest
1 year of not being able to swim
1 year of 'What did you do to your leg?'
1 year of some undesirable attention
1 year of struggle
1 year of intensive drug therapy
1 year of medical bills
1 year of 'When is this going to heal?'
1 year of negotiation with DIMIA
1 year of frustration
1 year of uncertainty
1 year of disatisfaction
1 year of stretching
1 year of uncovering the mystery
1 year of adventure
1 year of tender loving care
1 year of undivided personal attention
1 year of community
1 year of 'Standing with you...'
1 year of relationship building
1 year of counting my blessings
1 year of learning
1 year of meekness
1 year of learning to Love
1 year of learning to be Loved
1 year of Faith strengthening
1 year of redefining Hope
1 year of Growth
1 year of New Beginnings
1 year of invaluable experiences
1 year of long lasting memories
1 year of life WORTH LIVING
September 17, 2004
Machine I am Not
I don't claim to know all about what it means to be a human... but at least i have come to terms to what i am not. Living in this world inevitably shapes us to be task oriented. With deadlines to meet, mountains and mountains of work to do, kids to feed, world to change, numbers to crunch and standards to meet, people are behaving more and more like a machine.
As far as I would like to have the efficiency of a machine, the ability and capacity to work and work, I realise that I can't. Machines do not feel, machines do not hurt, machines breakdown and they get replaced. Machines are made to work and to perform. Once they lose their ability and once something more effecient and more technologically advanced is created, the machine lose its value and is discarded. That is the nature of a machine.
Human feels, and are not created to just work their heads off. I tried to be a machine and was treated like a machine and I even hoped to be like a machine. In the end what I realised is that "I am simply NOT a machine" Work is not all tit is to life. It is not what I was made for. I have my needs. A need for love and grace. I am a Human.
September 13, 2004
Still Homesick
You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you
I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now
Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home
I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now
In Christ, there are no goodbye
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again
And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now
