January 17, 2005
Catching up with Kluang
Some interesting facts that I learnt about Kluang today:
1. There are more millionaires per square meter here in Kluang than anywhere else in Malaysia.
2. There are thousands of Vietnamese working in Kluang.
3. There are over 45,000 highschoolers enrolled in the government schools all over Kluang for the year 2005 alone.
4. The total number for all Youth Fellowships in Kluang combined is just over 300 people.
5. Planet Shakers came to Kluang last year and had their 2nd largest rally in Malaysia here. They are coming again in August.
6. The team from New Hope Church, Hawaii, Pastored by Wayne Cordeiro came to Kluang and worked together with the churches here last year.
7. There is an inter-church community centre here in Kluang set up to show hospitality to strangers.
8. There are many who are called specifically by God to come /(back) to Kluang from all over the world.
9. There has always been a vision for the city of Kluang.
10. Kluang is Spiritually alive!!!
=)
But I still miss my Me!bourne!!!
January 16, 2005
My (not so) new toy
My very own Compaq Presario V2122AP...
Ahhh.... =)
January 11, 2005
Withdrawal Syndrome
I think i am suffering from withdrawal syndrome since i came back from International Retreat. Suddenly i find myself feeling really sad and missing everyone, all the familiar and loving faces that i used to see so often - almost for granted.
Coming back from the retreat, i discover something about relationships, or perhaps, community. I used to think that i will only miss a few key individuals who have been journeying closely with me. As for the rest of them, i used to not think that they will make any major difference in my life whether they continue to be in or out of my life. I was wrong!!!
Yes, I do really really miss those key individuals in my life. It is hard and painful not to have them closeby and actively sharing life. I miss them so so much. Even the thought of them makes me tear. What got me this time is the rest of the community. Many of them do not know me well, or maybe i do not know them well, we do not share much of our journeys, and individually, whether they exist in my life or not, it doesn't really make a difference. But when together, each of this individuals makes the community, they set the culture of the community i call my own. Without them, there will be no community. I realised that they do make a difference in my life.
Why am I so sad? Maybe is the sudden realisation that i really am in Malaysia and will not be returning to my community there again. Maybe is after a whole month of 'quiet' yet 'busy' life, i experienced again something so beautiful, something so close to my heart that never fails to create a space for me to be real to myself and to God. Or maybe, is the thought that it would be another year before I can see and connect with my frens again, it will another year before I can sit and listen to Tim’s preaching and teaching again. I will not be able to grow together with them anymore.
One year's time. So many things can happen in 1 year. When i think about what happened last year, and it will be another year before i get to be united with like-minded people again, there is an intense heartache in me. During the short weekend, I felt once again, the amazing love, the heart to heart connection that i share with my dear friends who journeyed closely with me. It touches my heart so deeply and i know it is for real... It makes me realise how much these individuals really mean to me. And it is just too painful to think that we will not be able to share life like we used to.
I will miss my Life* Expedition-ers. They occupy so much more of my heart than i ever knew! Thank you ACCF/Life* Expedition. You are in my heart.
January 7, 2005
Overwhelmed
Ever since I got back home, I have not ceased to be overwhelmed by what I am seeing and experiencing. The culture here, the system that the people here subject themselves into – something that I have to get used to, their way of survival, their busyness and also how money speaks the loudest here. It is quite a culture shock for me, and heart breaking too!! This place is too Busy and Restless.
On a separate note, I felt home… home to my family. I am back to a place where I know that I know that I am a beloved daughter and a beloved sister. It is still a place of Love - abundance of it, revealing itself here and there, now and then, whenever I choose to open my eyes and my heart to see it. People here express their love differently. They are very reserved and conservative. Love is rarely expressed in words, but mostly and almost always expressed through silent actions that one thinks are best for the other (although this might not always be true). With the lack of understanding and communications, these actions can sometimes produce opposite effects and scar the relationship.
Words spoken here are often negative and destructive – doesn’t sound very loving at all. It is the culture here… it is as if the more negative your words are, the more satisfaction you get. I just do not get it… sometimes, through all these negative words, all I hear is ultimately love. What I hear is a hurting heart, a hurting soul expressing its frustrations, its scars… all these were formed because they once dared to love but was hurt.
While I am home with my family, I am so grateful that I am able to read love everywhere. My mum, my sisters, my extended family, the love I am receiving, they overwhelm me continuously. I know I do not deserve their unconditional love but they just love me for who I am. No matter what I have or have not done, they continue to love and to give, all because I have found grace in their sight. To them, I am accepted, I am family, I am one of their own. This makes me understand a lil bit more of the goodness and what it means to be in God’s family. It is the same concept; physical family is just a representation of God’s grace. Thanks mum, thanks ‘che’ and ‘2 che’ for showing me the most beautiful gift of Love.
No wonder God says: “Be fruitful and multiply…”