melanie's blog

that just made my day

I am finishing my work in 2 weeks time…. And because there are heaps of new stuff that has been implemented since I started work 3 months ago, and no one-person know how to do all those things, I have decided to write them all down for the person who will be replacing me. Even though I have not been functioning as a full flare executive fulfilling all the jobs on my job description, the manual is already 23 pages long. I have finished writing them today.

Just as I was checking if there were more stuff to include in the manual, my boss came over and was so impressed when he saw the index page. He said “How come you are so good one!!?? How can I live without you??!!”

I asked him to check if there are other things he would like me to include in the manual. Looking through the index page, he then said something that just made my day: “I never had one-person who could do all these things!!” Wah… then he was even saying things that suggest the possibility of me working from home during my recovery. Hahaha.. but too bad. I won’t be able to access the company server and database from home.. so “Too bad” I said.

Hehe… =)

understanding traffic jam

After living in this city for a few months, these are just a few of my observations on our traffic jam:

1. The role of JPJ is to create traffic jam where there is smooth traffic – this is done by unnecessary roadblocks and roadwork.

2. After the jam is successfully created, this is when the traffic police come in. Their role is not to relief the jam, but to make sure it is evenly distributed at all sides.

3. However, I think the government is still the best, they encourage everyone to be car owners, just so that people will be caught in the jam on highways. Yes, they do build highways. For some reason, their highways can only be 2 lanes, and they come with too many tolls, and these highways were claimed to help ease the traffic demand then when the expected completion date of the highway was at least a good 2 years from when it started. Hmmm… Aren’t they the best???

Moreover, it is with the existence of the highways that the JPJ and traffic police can fulfil their roles mentioned above. I still think the government is the best.

rethinking my position

i think i am rethinking my position and reassessing my heart. Is this where I want to head? Is this where i want to be... Or, is my heart somewhere else...

more thoughts to come soon... I hope to make a decision soon.

insecure

Fallen man innately feels insecure, insignificant, lonely and unloved. This insecurity stems from the lack of belonging, the lack of cognizance of their belovedness by the One who created them. There is a disconnection, a separation between man and its Creator, the perfect relationship and the perfect fellowship between Man and God is broken – and the cause of it is sin.

Even as Jesus came to bridge the gap, to restore mankind to the perfect relationship and fellowship with God, I find myself unable to fully grasp and embody that restorative work of God. I had to be reminded over and over again, and each time after I was reminded of my belovedness, there is heartache inside me, because I know I did not trust God again. Looking back on my journey with God, I would say the central message or lesson that God is wanting to tell me (or the entire mankind) is that He is Love and I(We) am(are) His Beloved. He will never leave me nor forsake me. Walk with Him and learn the unforced rhythm of Grace.

The most recent incidence that tucked my heart was just this week. I have been living life for the past 2 months until about 2 weeks ago where there were a few things that I had to come to terms with, make some choices before I could move on to the next step. They were all inter-related which made the whole situation a big mess and it kept me almost incapacitated. Despite all that God was speaking into my heart and how far His Grace and favour has led me to the point where I am now, I was once again found worried, uncertain and fearful.

I was fearful of the unknown, for I know there is a confrontation that needs to happen, I need an answer to question 1 before I could move on to look at question 2, 3, and 4. I knew in my heart what I needed to do, but I was afraid to do it. With the encouragements and support coming from trusted friends, I have set my heart to do what is right - and I did it. The response I received was beyond what I have imagined and asked for. It was full with favour and caught me once again speechless, in awe of His love. All I can say is God knows every single bit of my heart and my thoughts. His eyes have never left me and I am constantly under the shadow of His Wing, being led by His Spirit, learning the unforced rhythm of Grace.

This incidence once again woke me up from my doubt. It is another evidence of His everlasting Love for me. I wonder, how many times have I disappointed God, and how many more times will I do that again…

Psalms 139: 13-17
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

Intensive Weekend - Day 2

Happy 96th Birthday Grandpa!!!
Here is our toss to you, from the Rank 2,

...and from the Rank 3,

...hmmm, where are the Rank 4s??? All the naughty ones...

By the way, aren't these 2 delicious??? Yummmm

Intensive Weekend - Day 1

My Cousin Steven's Wedding =)

Getting prepared

This is it, and this is how it is gonna work...

Am starting to prepare myself mentally and emotionally... Pretty scary!!