Don't sweat the SMALL stuff!

26-12-05

I've been back for slightly more than a week. Already I'm starting to miss waking up in my bed in Melbourne. Sleepily dragging myself downstairs for a bowl of cereal, which I pour the milk in first. I know, weird me :P I think it's only now that I realize how much I WANT to be alone and away from people especially when I just wake up. But, of course, I have to do the usual Good morning to the folks. Then I'd grab something to eat and hide in front of the tv and drown my depressing thoughts. Haha. Sounds so morbid.

I like the night, when there's no one around cause everyone sleeps early around here. And I get the big telly. And no one disturbs me with some stupid comment or some irritatingly CRAZY expectation! haha. I've never craved for personal space so much! More like personal space from my family. Which is so weird cause the main reason why I came back WAS to spend quality time with my family. Stuff happened and I just wana stay as far away from them as I can. Until I'm feeling better.

So, thanks for the GOOD cheesecake, ribena and Koko black truffles, and of course the good laugh. Not to forget, making weird impressions of a certain someone. Eh, no names here ok! It was truly refreshing. My form of escaping. Haha.

Christmas was uneventful...Maybe it's never really had much meaning to me. And doesn't really help that my mum's mum died two years ago on Christmas day and there's ABSOLUTELY no celebration every year since except when I go out with friends. Oh well...

Happy Birthday, Yuchun! :) So old already!!!! :P

Merry belated Xmas to everyone!

Quick update

Just a quick update. Been shopping a lot. Nothing interesting happened. Of course, I COULD list out everything I've bought but it'll just bore the hell out of everyone. haha. Had lunch with the girls, except Indy DARLING!!!! and now with Swee too. Jap buffet rocks!!! Had so much sashimi I think I ate my money's worth. yumm...and laughed so so so so super muchie muchie I felt so sick after that. Then we moved on to shoe shopping.

I want shoes, I want shoes, I want shoes!

Anyways, things are getting better in the relationship side of things. Friends, special friends, not so special friends...Haha. I'm talking nonsense. Blah. Won't crap on anymore cause it's so hot and I'm so moody so I don't know what I'm blogging about........

I want shoes, I want shoes, I want shoes.......

Since I've been home

I'm finally back in good ol'Malaysia. Somehow, it feels different being home compared to last year. I know I've changed heaps. And so have some people. Maybe I am disappointed, but more than anything, tired and hurt. Sigh. Wish I could just blurt out everything that I'm feeling now but maybe that wouldn't be a wise thing to do. Oh well. I sort of anticipated that this summer holidays would be different and difficult. Maybe because I'm forced to interact with people whom I haven't been interacting with for so long, but who would've guessed that it would be THIS difficult. Ugh. Terribly disappointed. Maybe I'm just going to keep quiet everytime I'm around you all. Or better still, just sulk at home.

Indy!!! Wish you were around :( So the five of us can go hang out and I probably won't feel half as terrible as I am at the moment. So stress-free, frustration-free, ugh-free! Or I don't mind being in Macca's on Victoria street enjoying a soft serve or just hanging out with friends after jam. Teehee. It's only the first day of my holidays. God, is it going to get any better???? I think at the moment, I'm just feeling anti-social. Got too much on my mind. Or maybe I'm pms-ing. I don't know! I don't have to have a reason or an answer for every question. Hehe.

At the moment, I miss everything about Melbourne. Pinky, my room, privacy, shopping alone, not having to answer so many questions, Sarah S, Angie, walking to Safeway by myself, walking around the city aimlessly, walking around Myers looking for the bags department, going out for late night snacks with You, watching tvb series, Jam sessions, BUNCH!! cooking and baking terrible-tasting and hard muffins, driving to Port Melbourne and sitting in the car while it's raining outside with You. Sigh. This is starting to get depressing.

Gracey, I owe you a pressie. Prob won't wait for leng lar. We'll go out someday k, and I'll buy u something u like! :) Girls, we have got to meet up. Seriously miss u all heaps! Maybe we can have video calls w Indy. Haha...Muaks muaks muaks!!

Happy happy day

Last night was a night of celebration for many RMIT students. Bumped into Min Hui, Mars and apparently Irene was there too. So, I tagged along with Isaac's family and his grandma to celebrate this joyous occasion. Isaac finally graduates after 3 years of (yes!!) hard work. Though arriving kind of late, we still managed to get pretty good seats. OK, I so don't like attending such graduations. I remember my first ever was my sister's and it was sooooo super boring, k!!! And for my brother's I managed to get out of having to sit through yet another one. Bwahaha (Ok, me don't expect u to sit thru mine too, ko)

But so sad lar k. Cos you only get that 30 seconds or so where you walk up and then grad the cert and hardly SMILE, then move on for the next person. At the same time, 10 other people are probably receiving their certs at different parts of the stadium. Super different from Melb Uni. Zac came around to where we were sitting and took a few more pics. It was such a Kleenex moment when I saw father and son embrace each other and his dad spoke a few words of encouragement. Then, his mum and grandma who have poured in a LOT of prayers, much of which we don't see or hear about. Wow...

So, here's to Zakky!
So glad to have had the chance to firstly know you. And then be allowed to stick my nosey head into your business. Everyone is SO SO SO proud of you. If you ever forget that, you can look back on this day and remember that you're precious in our eyes.

How weird are you??

Bwahahha.. Can't believe that I'm THIS weird.
Oh man...*denial
And Zak's only 40% weird!!!! CANNOT BE!!!!!

You Are 70% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right? But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

Joyful joyful, we adore Thee

What a day Sunday was. It wasn't supposed to be so full on for me but oh well, I enjoyed it heaps! So, some of them from the worship team were supposed to play for an interchurch Christmas thingo. And so happen they were rostered on that Sunday morn in church too. The event was held in this Primary school hall in Box Hill which was rented out for free. So being the NICE girlfriend that I was, I offered to tapau food for the guys while they packed up the instruments, hence being VERY time efficient. Teehee. But I over estimated my power cause I had to carry 4 packets of food and 3 packets of drink and walking in the hot hot sun. Longer arms now....Cheryl calls me the tapau queen. Haha. Imagine this small girl with TWO big plastic bags of food.

So it was pretty much a WHOLE day of playing, packing up, running around, setting up, sound checks which took longer than it should(For them). Thankfully, I just had to sit there and watch, then helped Joh memorize the lyrics, help the deco and ran around looking for water and food to feed the hungry musos. Teehee. I think I've found my new passion. Feeding people. bwahahah.

Then came the real event. So much singing, bla bla bla and message which felt more like an easter message, more singing, dances and THE CHOIR. Haha. Finally, the packing up which took shorter than expected cause there were so many hands. By the end of the night, we were all tired and hungry and singing silly songs while we piled up the last of the equipments into the van. Headed for supper at China bar where we finally had a chance to talk and get to know the others better. Well, technically I'm not part of the band but it was such as experience. Hehe. So proud of the worship team- Euge, Joh, Joy, Zak, Aron, GJ and ALL the dancers and deco people. Wow. You guys rock man! :)

Going to miss Life Expedition for 2 months. Can't wait to come back and see how much you've all grown. Feel a bit sad. Sobs*

Yipeeeee :P

Just when you think the stress is over...

It's 4:39 am and I'm still awake. Partly thanks to Eddy for lending me his Canton series that's been robbing me of my sleep. Been watching them till 4am the past few days. I haven't watched so much of movies or shows in a LOoOOOooong time. Usually, during the semester, I'd feel guilty after the 1st hour. But this time around it's helped me to fill my time and get my mind off some stuff.

But after receiving the call on Thursday morning about my 1st preference for an Honours topic, I find myself stressing more. I think it hasn't really sunk in that I'm finally graduating. After 3 years, the fruits of my labour and my PARENTS MONEY have finally paid off. I am officially a Science graduate. I feel too young to have to face the working world. Haha. I don't know. My thoughts are all over.

If I have to sum up my past week and few weeks to come, i'd probably say that I'm at a place where the road divides and I have to make a choice. Not just in the area of my studies/career but also in terms of relationships. Just the thought that they're all life long decisions makes me wana just retreat to my comfy bed with my fav pillow and drown myself in a world of make belief and fill my mind with stories where it's all happy endings and where love is ALWAYS sacrificial and ALWAYS leads you to the right decisions. Haha..Too much Canto series. I think it's easy to tell or advice people but when your so called theories and standards need to be lived out, I know I'm the first to hide.

I have selective memory. Can't remember if I heard this quote of if I saw it on the telly or if I made it up. Love (loving someone) is like a bar of chocholates. If you hold onto it too tight, it'll melt. Haha..Found that a rather interesting analogy.

This song came to mind: (Geoff Bullock)
Oh Lord you lead me
By the still waters
Quietly restoring my soul
You speak words of wisdom
The promise of glory
The power of the presence of God.

Chorus:
Have faith in God
Let your hope rest on the faith
He has placed in your heart
Never give up
Never let go of the faith
He has placed in your heart.

Verse 2:
Oh Lord you guide me
Through all the darkness
Turning my nights into day
And you’ll never leave me
Never forsake me
The power of the presence of God.

Ngiek ngiek ngiek

2005 2 521302 Functional Genomics 074 H2B
2005 2 521304 Hormone & Neurotransmitter Biochemistry 076 H2A
2005 2 536302 Molecular Neurophysiology 074 H2B
2005 2 536311 Molecular/Cellular Basis of Physiology 075 H2A

:D My best semester ever. I didn't get any Ps. Haha. Ok, I'm not THAT clever, so this really is my best semester. HAHA =)

OOooo yea...Do the boogie =D

It means I graduate! Yipeeee =)

Dis-appointments

For the longest time, I've had to deal with unrealistic expectations that almost always makes me doomed to disappointment. Well, I think that I don't have THAT high expectations. But I seem to be disappointed so much that they PROBABLY are too high. Haha. Duno, maybe I just like to be included in EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING. Haha. But I have my days when I just wana hide and be alone. I can't helpl it that I LIKE to tag along, or if I LIKE to watch a movie too. But maybe I just can't be apart of everything. Oh well....Maybe I'm just needing extra care and attention right now.

Going back next Friday. Part of me just doesn't wana leave this place I've called home. But another part of me is really excited to leave this place and clear my mind a little bit. Been thinking so much until my hair also going to dropppp..ARGHHH!

So how??? Everyone seems to have gone back or are busy with SOMETHING or some people. And result coming out!!! Should be able to request for them tomorrow night after working hours. GRACEY!!! SO HOWWWW!!! VERY SCARED LIAO. :( Should have as much fun as i can. Plus, I've got bunch tomorrow. If I don't do too well, I don't know if I will be able to drag myself there. bleh.

Winnie KAMMMM, why u always expect so much ler..???

Of my holidays

Been feeling rather anti-social the past few days. Except during the weekends. Uhh...Maybe just feeling the blues. Should be meeting up with some people but i'm procrastinating because I'm in absolutely no mood to talk to anyone, except over MSN.

Packed up some stuff into a bag and kept it under my bed. Figured that it's the place where I would least likely see the bag of things. Maybe someday I'll find the courage to take them out again. Don't think I'll throw it out. But at the moment, I just want to sulk and watch Canton series that Eddy lent me. I finished one series in 3 days.

Indy darling, keeping u in my thoughts and during the rare moments I even utter a simple line of prayer. hugggss***

Seven things

Since I'm bored and since Bunnie tagged me...Here it goes:-

Seven things:-
Seven things that scare me
1. The dark
2. Spiders
3. Insects
4. Crashing the car into someone...(omg, I'm super paranoid about it)
5. Pain....labour pain
6. The people I love dying
7. Stories about deliverence...or evil spirits....bwah*

Seven things I like the most
1. Strawberry/yogurt cheesecake me and Mel did
2. My 'pillow'...I'll show u if u ever come to my apartment
3. Green tea
4. Laughing with mad mad people
5. Everybody loves Raymond
6. Msn-ing
7. Singinggggg

Seven important things in my room
1. My lap top
2. ipod
3. Clothes
4. My letters from high school... :P
5. Pinky! Bluppo! Chewy
6. ME
7. My passport, IC, all the important documents

Seven random facts about me
1. I love to sing.
2. I can't sleep if it's totally dark. Had weird dreams for quite a while and I'm still a bit scared.
3. I talk to myself, when I'm stressed. Like I 'run through' all the things that i need to do. And tell myself, "Can one, Winnie Kam"
4. I like to call people by their full names when I'm angry or serious.
5. I can have 3 cups of green tea a day. Yumm...
6. I eat chocholates but i dont go CRAAAAZY over it. I have my days
7. I ABSOLUTELY LOVEEEEEEE TO SINGGGGGGGGGG!

Seven things I plan to do before I die
1. Be able to drive a manual car. BWAHAHA
2. I'd like to learn to cook...really really well.
3. Knit cute little stockings for my grandkids...bwhahahahhahahahaaa
4. MAYBE, learn to not fear the dark
5. Eat all the salmon sashimi I want....haha. Tt's just stupid but I feel like eating it now. So, just going to add it in.
6. Can't think of anything...Maybe Sing in front of a LARGE crowd :)
7. Get married....perhaps. Haha

Seven things I can do:
1. Eat
2. Shop....shop...then shop...and shop. Only when mum's around.
3. Watch Bunnie laugh and then laugh without knowing what she's laughing about.
4. Chat on MSN till the wee hours of the morning.
5.Take a shower, brush my teeth and clean up in 15 minutes.
6. SHOUT and FANN everyone
7. Talk and talk and talk a lot

Seven things I can't do:
1. Whistle
2. Do a split
3. Dance
4. Grow taller sobss*
5. Play basketball
6. Sleep when I WANT to. I usually have to tire myself out.
7. Play drums. HAHA

Seven things I say the most
1. Is it
2. But then har
3. Sakai
4. Shit
5. REeeally
6. Eh
7. Dielarrrrr

Seven nicknames
1. Beanie
2. Small girl
3. Ming
4. Dunolar, where got 7 nicknames one!!!!

Seven(FIVEEEE) celeb crushes
1. Vin Diesel
2. Hugh Jackman
3. Jude Law
4. Johnny Depp
5. CHADMICHAELMURRAY. drools*

Tag anyone who feels like doing this..Maybe Mel, Soph, Eddy, Gracey (cos u're weird!!!:P), Indy, Chad Michael Murray if he reads this. hahahahah :P