Don't sweat the SMALL stuff!

1:35am

I can't sleep but i'm tired. Maybe it's because I dozed off for a while around 10 something.

Feeling terribly misunderstood now. But I don't want to do anything to clarify. Maybe I'm just too tired. Or I've reached a point where it's not the first time, so why do I even bother explaining. I've tried before. Nothing's really changed since last year, i guess. How disappointing. Not that explaining will change your perspective of things. It has been such a crap week. Goodness! The last time I felt this was in February when I wish I could fly back to Msia for a few days. Or disappear into the suburbs for a day or two. Clear my mind, perhaps. Or listen.

Bla bla bla....fast forward 20 minutes...

Happy Birthday Indy Darling. Aiks..Need to wait another 20 mins before it's really ur bday in Perth but I'm really need to try to sleep. So, here's the early birthday wishes though you probably won't read my blog at this time of the night. hehe. Dududu. The speech will come soon. Prob email it to you =D

What I do everyday in my lab

Thirty six water bottles

See, they can stand! :D

This is one of the heaviest one. As of today, he weighs slightly over 500g.

Cute pic but turned out blurry.

My and one of the rats that I just weighed

What's wrong with me?!

Ugh! I think I've been such a bitch the past 2 days. So annoyed and frustrated at the littlest of things. Maybe it's the stress cause I realised I collected the wrong data for a 8 rats and they're all mixed up when I wrote them down. UGH! So stupid. Maybe during the weekends I just want to get out of the lab asap, so I anyhow write down whatever. And 36 rats is WAY too many to handle. Makes you go crazy. The first 15-20 gets really good treatment and I try my very best not to bang the cages on the rack. They're generally ok when I do that, just don't wana frighten them too much. Then towards the last two rows of cages, I'm just tired from all the carrying that I miss the rack and accidentally bump them into the other cages. GOSH! So terrible. Not a health hazard for them but I try to calm them down a bit. And this super scardy cat of a rat always ALWAYS squeeks when I pick him up. But I try to pat them so they don't feel so scared, then pick them up gently. And this other one planted it's blardy sharp nails into my skin. Though I had gloves on it was terribly painful. And worse thing was that I couldn't let it go otherwise I'l drop it on the floor. So had to tahan the pain and put it into the weighing pail. So ungrateful! I feed you summore claw me! >_< (Too bad their so cute, can't be angry at them)

I duno. I hate people who're so irresponsible. I'm not admitting i'm responsible. Just get's on my nerves when they can't get back to you about something important as soon as possible. EEK! Anyways, gona watch X-Men 3 tonight. I hope my moodiness goes away. Owh! I went cycling again on SAT! Woohoo! So cool. Love it! The weather was just great.

Hmm... I can't help but feel unappreciated by some people. (Not some person ok, stop guessing). Like there're many ways one can say stuff but you don't have to make it sound like I'm such a liability that you're only offering help because you want to get things done sooner or something. What if I didn't want your help? What if I'd prefer to have it done my way. The way you said it gives me no choice but to accept it. UGH! Hate those kinda people!

I feel so bloated. Stay away from me the next few days. I bite!
Reminder to self, bring calculator and camera. UGHUGHUGH~

Nah, your picture on my blog! teehee :P

Sunday Blues

I'm going to be a girly girl and explain my day all in one entry. So if you can't follow just click on any link on the right side and move on to another blog. Haha

Hmm. I hate the feeling where Sunday just passes me by and I haven't had time to sit and relax. To enjoy the company of good-goofy friends who laugh at silly jokes about the good ol' days....When someone was a PE teacher. HAHAHAHA. Ok. I WAS laughing but not the loudest ok :P Just had a fantastic dinner with Tim and the newly commisioned staff at this restaurant at the corner of LaTrobe and Spencer Streets. IL Sevo?? IL Silvo?? Some IL something. Yumm yumm. Truly satisfied. So, my day was PACKED like madness mad. Woke up around 7:30am bla bla bla then after worship, helped Saz and a few other guys to set up for lunch. Pulled all the cutlery and glasses then filled it with water...bla bla bla. Then ran around looking for someone, couldn't find her, stressing cause I couldn't find her. Teehee. Hide and seek =P Then got commisioned, straight after it was communion then ran to help serve. By that time I was ready to ploooop and just sleep. Then went to uni to feed my rats. RATS! NOT MICE! Shessh. Glad they're growing strong and eating well though some are not finishing their portion. Hmm...Less greedy. HAHA. Then got back to Arrow and waited for Zakky who had an extremely long meeting and finally put my butt on a chair. RESTED. Then fast forward, basically didn't nap till dinner at 7. Dinner and now I'm hom ein my comfy bed with the heater on. Ah...Nice day to snuggle under the Pooh doona. Sleep till....Shucks. Got stupid meeting at 9:15 tomorrow. How pathetic is thaat. So damn boring and ask me to blardy wake up for it. What the?!! Somemore next week I gota present. UGHUGHUGHUGHUGH~!!!! Hate it. Sheesh

Ok, don't care about paragraphing cause my thought come out in a whole stretch. haha. Sleeeeep +P...

Slow day

Today has been a slow day. Not that I've had nothing to do all morning. I've actuallly been working since 9 something till 1 ish. Maybe I've got SO much on my mind that it feels like every second goes by slowly and I'm just waiting for 4:15 pm. (Time goes by....so slowly) Ugh. I'm feeling terribly anti-social today. Didnt wana have lunch with my usual lunch buddy but instead looked for my ex-Melb uni friends. To my dismay, there was way too much bitching and I feel the toxic filling my lungs. On a normal day, I think I'd laugh along with the jokes and maybe (MAYBE!:P) chip in a word or two. But today, I just felt like leaving cause there was way too much bitching for my puny, tired, overloaded brain. I didn't wana process any more crap. Haha. But i did think it was funny, what they were talking about, i mean. Oh well...

Eating my yummy pear right now. I need more fruits. Better get back to work. eek!

Hehe..Letter from Joh to the team

Just read an email that Joh sent to the Fire Carriers. Wow...It's amazing how things have changed since she left. Not that we're becoming 'better' since she left or that we can't function anymore. But I think it's more of a sense of living life and journeying together though she's like 10 hours away. Haha. To hear her heart for the team (she still remembers us!haha). And how He's taking really good care of her. ahh...

Something she said to us....
Keep yourself in the word & prayer, and don’t forget to worship your guts out coz it’ll continually keep your eyes focused on our magnificent God! :)

Haha. I really like the "worship your guts out!!!" bit. I find that so true. Like when I was going through a crap season last year, I literally had to learn to worship my guts out and to praise my way outa the crap. I remember sitting on the tram with my ipod on wanting to sing at the top of my voice with all my might "IT'S A NEW SEASON!!!!! IT'S A NEW DAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! FREe-eeee-eSHHHHH annointing flowing my way!" That was one those 'worship your guts out' moments that changed my life and heart. He met me, on a tram and poured out fresh annointing. AMEN!

Ku Niang (Charles) was cho cweeeeeet. He gave Zakky and me a 100 bucks ticket voucher for basically any show at Ticketek. WOOOPEEEDOOOOO! Thanks so much, Ku niang. You don't realise how much this blesses us. Not so much the gift but the fact that you believe in us to enough to invest in this relationship too. YIPEE! Now we have a reason to go on a date. HAHA!

This hasn't been the bestest week but these event have brought me strength and I'm learning to bounce back up on my feet despite the clutter that's trying to force me to react in a bad way.

WOOHOO!

I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
CAN'T WAIT! :P

I'm feeling crappy.
Don't know why.
Maybe I do.
Not trying to make anyone feel bad. REALLY
But I just can't help feeling crappy. miserable. pathetic.
JUSTWANTTOBEALONE
It's funny how we tend to treat the people closest to us the worst.
Sometimes I wish I am not one of the closepeopletoyou so I don't feel so crappy.
Arr..
>-<

I'll be fine

Alien invasion >_<

Teehee. This is pretty cool! We were mucking around with Chuk's (i just gave u a new name, chukkie!) computer. We were so impressed with the fact that there's a build in camera so we went crazy. Dooop-dee-doooooo....Enjoy

Alien Zakky

Lab work and weird guy. SCIENCE....

Just finished my usual 1 hour ish lab work. Feeling a bit lousy cos I frightened a rat and it squeeked so much every time I tried to pat him to calm him down. I think when I took him out of the cage into the bucket to be weighed I wasn't as gentle as he expected. So, must have been quite a rough transfer. haha. DUNO. The others are alright and usually sniff my hands and allow me to pat them. I had to wait till he calmed down and wasn't so terrified before I could put him back into his cage. Feel so bad now...eek*

Was in the tea room just now when this guy whom I've seen around the building said to me, "Why do you always take breaks the same time as me?". WTH! haha. I replied jokingly, "Stop stalking me". And he probably thinks I'm the one stalking him. Halo, I wana drink milo at 11 something cannot meh! Anyways, I thought he'd stop there but he went on, "So, tell me, why do you always take breaks the same time as me?". By this time I was quite annoyed already. There're heaps of people that I see almost everyday. Doesn't mean I go around stalking people ok! And 11am is quite a normal time for tea what...and 1:30 ish is normal for lunch. Oh, I've seen him during lunch too. What the??! Anyways, I need to think of ways to counter that kinda lame statements. And I feel like puking already just thinking about what he said. So...cacat! Haha...

Something meaningful...or is it??

Just got off the phone with Zakky. Well, I'm not the kind who likes to blog all the time about how perfect he is, or how sweet he is sending me flowers or bringing me to nice dinner dates. Not that he isn't. For some strange reason, I'm just not like every other proud girlfriends who writes to the world about every good deed the boyfriend does. But I am proud. I just can't take it. Well, not all the time lar at least. I have my moments though. And now is definately NOT one of them. hahaha. Am i weird?? Anyways, random thought. haha.

I've realised one thing (took me a while to accept it cause I'm damn stubborn), disliking someone or to put it more strongly, HATING someone is NOT EASY! Haha. Oh don't start being a smart ass and preach nonsense at me about Love is this and that. I KNOW ALREADY. I get annoyed when people think they're such perfect beings. Shuddup already. I'm learning :P I don't wake up everyday and pray that I'll learn to keep disliking this person. haha. But like i said, it is NOT EASY and i DON'T choose it. I don't like to don't like someone, and I can't help that I'm such a record keeping person. (So sue me! rolls eyes*)I don't think I'm as angry at the person for his/her deed but more like I can't get past the hurt that it caused me. So that kinda snowballed up to being angry and tada! We have a very angry little Winnie.

Life is a journey and it's better doing together. Just that sometimesI feel as if I need to retreat to my quiet place and allow His Spirit to do its work in me. Not something that I can click and erase but a continuous battle in the mind to be disciplined and to not allow myself to replay that damn memory over and over again, tormenting myself. Oh so depressing. Haha. Yar, somethings can't be rectified by mere words and actions. But if anything, I'm starting to soften towards the situation and learn that it doesn't change who I am and my worth. Even if present events trigger some unfond memories, it doesn't make me any less of a person, but more aware of how much more i need Him (G.O.D) to pick up my little pieces.

Well, on another note.....Zak, Aron and I cycled ALL THE WAY TO Chris and Em's place. Y, you said i cannot do it! BWAHAHA. Nah see! Better still, we went to Williamstown with Bekkie and Chris and then rode all the way back to Docklands. My legs were SO NUMB I couldn't feel the floor after that. I'm so proud of myself for riding there, then to Williamstown and finally all the way back to Docklands through the steep roads. I was ready to tie a rope to Aron's and Zak's bike so they can do the hard work. I was close to giving up and taking a cab home but I don't like feeling like a failure. PUSH PUSH PUUUUUUUUUUUUSH the tired legs and cycled ALL THE WAY BACK!!! =D Woohoo! Feels good.

THEY'RE HERE!

haha. Second entry for the day. Cause I'm excited! Seven of the rats are here. So adorable. Thankfully, there was someone to teach me some of the ways to handle them properly so I don't cause too much discomfort. Even got scrap bits for a box and tissue to make them comfy =) Hee. Gawd, I hope I don't develop an allergy. SOB* Three or four of them pee-ed when I picked them up. I think they're seven weeks old and far too small and cute =) WOOHOO! Lab work starting. Actually, I don't feel that bad compared to this morning. Hee...

They have arrived!

So, I just heard that 6 of my rats are here. I'm expecting to meet the remaining THIRTYTHREE on Friday. Part of me goes, WOOHOO! Finally start lab work, but the other part is like, sob* no more life. No more weekends. No more Saturdays and Sundays to look forward to. SOB* Good thing I didn't do ANY SORT OF WORK the whole weekend that had just passed. I think I had to consciously tell myself not to pick up an article to read. SIGH^

If I look gloomy or respond in a not so friendly way, SORRY! Just ain't feeling as enthusiatic as I was when I first started off. Maybe it's the crap supervisor. Who is planning to leave me to myself. SOB* I'm going to have to feed, weigh and please FOURTY rats so they don't make my life difficult by biting me or running around refusing to be caught. ARRR! Oh yar, I'm so annoyed at my supervisor. I think I'm going to publicly announce all his nonsense on my blog when my honours year is finished....and when I get his reference letter....and when I'm SURE i'll be ok and can have nothing to do with him anymore. HAH. See lar, maybe I won't dislike him half as much as I do now.

I feel like bumming at home. >.< ARRRRRRRRRRRRR! Oh well.....hopeifeelbetter