Don't sweat the SMALL stuff!

Dark clouds again

I don't know what's wrong with me these days. My mood has just been blacker than black. It so cannot be pms cause pms doesn't last this freaking LOOOONG. Ugh. My blog's becoming this depressing web space where I whine and complain about everything bad. Sigh. Maybe it's uni. Maybe it's relationships. Maybe it's my expectations. Maybe...owh I don't know!

OH OH OH!!!! I didn't realise I can feed my virtual pets on the side ---------> Teehee. Click on 'More' and then there's a piece of meat for the tiger and a strawberry for the hamster. You gota click on the food and bring it to them then click again for them to eat it. SO COOL! My gosh, I haven't fed them in months and they're still alive. Good thing they're not real. teeeeheee. Sigh~ It's the stupidsilly things that lights up my day =) Maybe I just don't want to face growing up. Turning 21 in a month. Such a scary thought. That maybe next year I will need to start supporting myself already. Daddy won't be giving me money when I start to work. EEEK. Need to control the spending and owh, I don't want to think about it. What if I don't get a job. And i have to live off Home Brand bread and canned tuna every meal. AHHHH. So scary! I'd rather eat instant noodles and die early. Hahahaa.

Sis called me a few days ago. Miss her muchie! I think we're kinda like the kinda sisters that can't really live together for an EXTENDED period of time otherwise we might bite each other's heads off. HAHA. Or I'll bite hers off cos she's nice to me and I'm so fierce. BWAHHAHAHA. Sigh. I wish I was back home so we can go shopping together :D Oh..Bro's not around, so I'm home alone. Sob*

4:33 AM! ARrr...

This is such an insane hour to be awake. Yup. 4:33AM. On a Sunday morning!!! Goodness. It's not like I'm out partying till this hour. NO. Far from it. We actually retreated to our homes for an early night after yummy dinner at Samurai. So I thought I'd do some usual blog surfing and recipes surfing. My new hobby. Teehee. Search for yummy looking recipes =) But little did I know that the Green tea (either from the milkshake or the tea we drank) is keeping me awake. Well, that's what I'm guessing cause there's no other source of caffeine in my blood other than those 2. You might think it's just a blardy milkshake lar. Well, we actually tasted lumps of 'macha' which is the green tea powder they use. The milkshakes were more 'kau' than usual. So, I'm guess that that could be the reason. I managed to sleep for like 2 hours but was kinda half awake at the same time.

Am VERY tempted to go to uni now and get my lab work out of the way. But kinda scary to go out there in the cold at 4:30 in the morning all alone. You don't know how many drunk people are out there. I might take the car though. Hmm..I think I shouldn't sleep huh. I duno. I gota be at church at 8 anyways. Can probably tahan till 1-2pm, have lunch then come home and crash. WOOOT* If caffeine's keeping me awake, it's going to keep me awake till 1-2pm. It has to! Ar.This is so bad for my singing (when I'm tired, my muscles are lazy so I use the wrong ones to sing). ARR...I can feel the adrenaline!! WOOOOOOOT* I need to run. Maybe clean the house. ARRRG! The brain was on hibernate mode hours ago!

Just need to let it out. As usual

SIGH! I'm not happy. SO NOT HAPPY. Quite hurt too. Sigh. Don't bother asking me what it is. I don't wana explain. I should be happy and excited about it. But I'm not. Can't help it. People can be quite insensitive. But I don't want to have to spell it out for them. So..I'm just going to have to deal with it. SOB* NOTHAPPYNOTHAPPYNOTHAPPY. Sigh. SIGHHHHH. Should sleep soon. So tomorrow will come sooner. AHAHA. Need to wake up extermely early tomorrow. Not for any other reason. But to go uni. That's IF i wake up. That's IF i make it to uni and then rush to church. Oh I love uni....(sense the sarcasm?)

Sigh..Thanks gracey. I know it probably seems like an insignificant thing. No biggie. Shouldn't even waste a moment on it. But it bugs me and the fact that you listened was enough consolation. Thanks! :P

Sniffy is cute

So if you're wondering who sniffy is, he's a little rat. Well, not so little. Kinda huge with a big bum. teehee. Absolutely adorable. Had the chance to look at some of the new born pups in the animal house today. Finished my work and Tom (the guy who handles them) showed me some of the baby rats new born and the young 2ish weeks old rats. SUPER CUTE. The ones which are a few days old look kinda gross. Like scalded fingers. So squishy and red all over. You can even see the milk in their tummies cause their skin hasn't fully developed into proper skin. No fur yet. Then when they're about a few weeks old they look SUPER adorable. Reminds me of Jerry from the "Tom and Jerry" cartoon.

Anyways, had dinner with the choir just now. Wynne's leaving next week. Going to miss this mad woman who probably is one of the few people who GENUINELY gets my jokes the first time I say it. Most people just laugh out of courtesy. Haha. Somehow, we're just on the same wavelength. SO LAME, YOU! Dessert was great though I can't remember much except that I was so tired and KG was so drunk. HAHA. JK. Hiccup-ed most of the way home after that. Kinda annoying

Zakky's coming back on Sunday morning. But I won't be able to go to the airport :( SOB* No space in the car. SOSAD. Oh well. Means I get to sleep in. But...hmm. Oh well. Wish I could go though. ;P Doesn't the girlfriend get priority??!!! Sheesh. Obviously not huh! Maybe Tim should take a cab :P

Can't wait for you two to come over! WOOHOO.

I'm fine. Really..

I've been in such a lousy mood lately. Maybe it's the stress of having to decide for a very important area in my life. To decide whether or not I should continue or just give up and walk away. No, I'm not breaking up with Zakky. Just some stuff with uni. Hmm.. Didn't realise how sneaky someone can be. Makes me feel kinda scared, and cynical. Kinda makes me feel like I'm in the wrong instead. Oh...No details, cause someone mentioned that I should be more discreet in my entries and apparently when you google Winnie Kam, my blog comes up first. Where got?!??! I tried it and it's not even on the first page. Haha. Oh well. Persevering. Thank God my mum's supportive. SOB*

I'm fine, really. Just don't want comments like.."Relax" or "Yar. I have a terrible bla bla bla too.. bla bla bla also. (hinting that I'm not the only one facing the problem.) Gosh. I kinda snapped at a friend for asking me to relax. Felt terrible. But I absolutelyhateit when people don't bother to ask why and just ask me to relax. If you don't want to listen, don't bother asking. Then again he did look genuinely concerned. I just can't relax lar maybe. Need to sulk a little bit then I'l be fine. EEK. Sorry...

Hmm..Was really surprised when I bumped into an ex-supervisor from 2 years ago. He still remembers me. Such a nice fellow. He kinda asked, "Hie Winnie. How's it going?". Which is probably the standard Hello. And I was probably expected to reply a "Great. How about you?". I didn't expect myself to actually tell him that I wasn't doing fine...but i did. Ugh. Near tears already (This is what honours does to you!). But I had to leave for a meeting so I couldn't stay to explain. He actually stopped what he was doing, turned towards me and said that his door was always open if ever I needed to talk to someone. Woah...Too nice. I was near tears..Oh nearer than before. Haha. Anyways, I found out later that he was concerned enough to ask someone else what the situation was and offered to help me out. SIGH. I wish I could disclose every detail but I can't. Cheh. Anyways feel so touched. Gave me a glimmer of hope. Feels kinda like, "GAWD. Help me....Oh why thank You." hahha...

Anyways, three more minutes. Baked jam muffins. Hope it turns out well. Did I mention that I love to bake and cook (doesn't mean I can ok! Learning) but I don't like to eat them :P I like to feed people. Teehee. Especially people who just gobble it down like it's damn yummy. AHAHHAHAHA. Though after a while, you realise that they just gobble down everything.
Ok..gota go.

Where got holiday???!!

Sigh. It's a monday and a holiday cause it's the queen's birthday. Oh well. I've been stuck in uni trying to get work done. Too much procratination over the past 4 days. Terrible. Oh well. I feel a bit all over the place. Haven't been sleeping well cause I stayed up late watching Desperate Housewives. I know I'm slow but I missed some episodes here and there so I decided to watch it all over again. Haven't been eating that well. Way too much dessert :P Hehe.

I find myself really frustrated over the littlest things. Sorry lar, I remember the small details of how people irritate me by what they say, do or don't do...EVERYTHING. But when I forget, I forget. hehe. Anyways, I can't take unreliable people or people who said they'll do something and end up not doing it. I know we're all busy. But if you've agreed to take on a particular responsiblity then freaking getitdone. Otherwise, have the decency to call me or let me know you can't do it. Hmm. I'm not perfect and I probably do that too but whattheh***. This is my blog and I'm going to write what's going on in my head now. Don't understand these people. At the end I gota get everything done and plan a halfthoughtabout thing cause you agreed but didn't do it.

Oh shucks. Too much whining, I know. Not having a good start to my week. Blah. I think half the time I spend beating myself up for not being as patient as I should be, so I tell myself I should be more patient, then when I've reached boiling point, I blow up and it gets worse than if I had blah-ed it out the moment I felt it. Oh well. TOO MUCH WHINING. okok..Better stop. 4:45pm. So much work to do still. sob* :(

Cycling and silly pictures

Just wanted to put some pics of our cycling outing two saturdays ago. Went around the stadium..can't remember the name. argh! Then..erm..can't remember and then stopped at the shrine of remembrance where we took silly shots of happy tired people. woohoo...We sure looked silly but it was super funny! Can't wait for Zakky to come back from KK & Brunei so we can go cycling again... :P Happy silly cycling club. haha. so cacat sounding.

CHUCKIE POWER

Wah...The helmet so nice right. I wonder who got it for him :P

just bored- randomallovertheplace entry

Had lunch yesterday with some of my uni friends. Kinda miss their company cause I usually eat in front of my lap top trying to finish the work. So, I tend to get lazy if i have to walk all the way to the other half of the campus and eat for 40 mins and walk all the way back. Too lazy. Hmm.. I didn't know some girls love horror movies. Ok, shouldn't stereotype cause there are guys who don't like horror movies too, RIGHT EDDY. I think I haven't watched a concert in...2 years???? Or maybe three. The last one (that I can remember) was John Mayer. Haha. SO SAD. Would've loved to watch Robbie Williams perform but my friends who got the tix are telling me it's selling out fast. Oh well.

Sigh. I'm just bored at the moment. Wana bake something. But stuck in uni cause I got so much work but tooooooooo lazy. Presentation sucked. Cause the stupervisor was supposed to help but instead he asked me why i didn't do this and that when I sent him the slides the week before to look through and pick out stuff that i missed. STUPIDIDIOT! Ugh. Need to make sure I have nothing to do with him before I tell him what kinda shit supervisor he is. donkey lar. destroying my already close to nothing glimmer of hope of getting a decent job.