Don't sweat the SMALL stuff!

Chocolate chip cupcakes

I got this recipe from a book but kind of changed it a little (again!). Less sugar and less icing. I actually like it this way =) This time, I took pictures!! And I tried putting the icing on too. hehe.

Chocolate marble cake

I baked a chocolate marble cake this arvo. Got the recipe from marthastewart and changed it a little bit. To be exact, I skipped the icing bit. I didn't have all the ingredients tfor that and i was too lazy and impatient to wait for it to cool and then put the icing then wait longer for it to set. hehe. I used my new silicone bake tray thingy and it worked well! Just pops out so easily. But the problem with me and baking big cakes is the presentation. It always ends up looking really ugly or deformed or burnt on the outside. Especially when the cakes are baked for an hour. I suppose that is why the icing was invented. More so to 'plaster' the ugly bits than anything else. Teehee. But it all worked out well. Yum yum :P
I'm not a big fan of sweet cakes and stuff but I love to feed people :P So baking/cooking makes me a happy girl and makes the people who eat it happy too (I hope). YAY! =D My mum loves baking/cooking too so maybe I got it from her =D

I stumbled upon this interesting quote from a friend's friend's blog who happened to be a friend from Trinity. Haha. Geddit geddit???? Well, I think it best explains why I do feel so lousy now. Add a bit of hurt with a lot of frustration and a whole lot of nasty words and tada....I feel crap. Though, ironically, I shouldn't be the one feeling the frustration because it didn't happen to me, but it just bothers me. Maybe because you can mean well for a person but how the person interpretes it is totally out of your control. No point blaming, eh. God give us grace.

" Words can be just words. But if the pen is mightier than the sword, then words definitely can be equally murderous.
Words are not just words. They are the vehicle of our inside thoughts, communicated to the outside world. Everything we think and feel can come out of our simple words. Even the sub-conscience carries through."

So, I've got quite a few pics but am too lazee to post all of them.. Blame the weather. Too hot for me to move anything more than my fingers to type. Hehe.
Ellie and Jin- looks like a Taiwan movie. hehehe =D

Blur picture of Gracey and me. Teehee, someone din wana take picture with me=P Gonna miss you heaps girl. Sigh*

Samurai with the girls....Wennie and Shin Yi

Cont'....Hong Yi and Candice

Saz, me and Ellie

Saz, me and Ellie being silly girls ;P

;P

Saz and E-gene

Saz and E-gene- no mango puddingggg....

After yum cha...

Me at Stalactites

Aron at Stalactites.

Me and Zakky before sending Aaron to the airport

Bye byeee.....

I sing....because, I'm ha-eh-peee...

That song has been in my head the past week. Cher did it as an item last Sunday so that's kinda how it all started. I don't know who the original author is but the Lauryn Hill's version is my fav! So, sing along with me....I

Why should I feel discouraged
Why should the shadows come
Why should my heart feel lonely
And long for heaven and home

When Jesus is my portion
A constant friend is He
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches over me
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me

I sing because I'm happy
I sing because I'm free
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me (He watches me)
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches
I know He watches
I know He watches me

Ok, emo entry alert ---------------------->

I don't know why but I've been really moody the past 3 days. Maybe it's the weather, I like winter and autumn. The cold is good. Hehe. Nah. But I've been so difficult it is not funny. I tried to figure it out and came up with several conclusions:-
a. The post-thesis withdrawal syndrome. Feel super useless now and all the mindless shopping or bumming is causing me to feel so depressed. haha. I know I should plan my time better, like maybe do word studies or read a book, or pick up a sport, or jog, or SOMETHING!

b. PMS. Don't need to explain kua??

c. The fact that I am no longer a student but will have to brave the cruel working world out there is slowly sinking in. I can't believe that after studying for 17 years (kinder not included), I'm going to have to WORK and e my own bucks. Gosh. Such a scary thought. I suppose it's the fear of uncertainty. It is in moments like these that I want to sing " I don't wana grow up, I'm a Toys'R Us kid".

d. Change. I hate change. I don't like it when things change. Or when people leave. Going to have to deal with the fact that I'll have a new housemate next year and Gracey's leaving. Not that I'm not excited about a new housie but I just don't like change. Sob* No more Thursday date nights with Gracey. >_<

e. I'm just being a pain in the butt! Though I prefer to think otherwise, I know I CAN be a pain sometimes and I don't like it too ok. hur hur. But oh well, everyone's annoying at some point of the year. erm. Ok, enough said about this point.

I don't know. Feels like something's not quite right.

I just wana stay at home and sulk. I want it to rain at nights when I'm home, all warm and cosy. I want to listen to Diana Krall and fall asleep on the bean bag. I want to dream of free-flowing grean tea ice-cream that doesn't make me sick if I eat too much. I don't want have to figure out what's next or think of answers when people ask me what my plans are. For once, I wana say I don't know. I wana to sing until I'm happy. I want to write music without worrying about how crap it sounds. I want to dance and not feel clumsy :P

Oh I'm done. Sigh^

Enjoying myself! Well, kind of...

My holiday so far hasn't been the most fulfilling. Neither is it BAD or sucky. Which is kinda weird. I think it's the 'thesis withdrawal syndrome' as indy puts it nicely. In a weird way, I do miss the busyness of working on something and feeling so good at the end of the day when you've worked 10 hours. Lately, I've had so much time and space to think. About what I'll do next. And it does get a bit depressing cause I wish I had the chance to learn a wholedamnlotmore during my so-called honours year. Gracey's right, I have had the chance to learn to cope with people/Aperson but at the same time I wish I had a better environment to work in.

Have been procrastinating on the packing/printing thesis/signing out of the building/sending in a formal complaint/cleaning apt/packing room. Aiyaya, too long lar my list of to-dos. It has taken me a week to pack up my stuff at the desk. I think for me it signified some closure to this horrendous year. I didn't expect myself to feel so scared to enter that building again and see that desk. Maybe cause I've associated that place with ANGRYathim/Stressed beyond measure/Hurt by sarcastic remarks/I just wana kick his arse! feelings. So, just now, for the first time after I handed the thesis in, I entered that place and stood at the desk without feeling overwhelmed by the negative emotions. Wow, I speak as if I went through some form of trauma. Sigh, but it has been one-hell-of-a-shit year and I'm not apologetic about what I am about to do next. Nor am I trying to call judgement upon a certain someone (as if it's not obvious enough). I'm not sorry that the decision was made but I did not in any way hint/suggest it. So, can I be mean and say that you deserved it. All of a sudden, you are so kind and nice to me because you need something when all those months, you've showed no interest at all. Ok, I feel a lot better now that I've finally faced it.

It is only Thursday

I've been trying to spend my time wisely ever since the whole hand in. Of course, I've managed to catch up on some shopping, too much sleep and the hanging out with friends. But today is only Thursday and I'm sorta out of things to do but I still have a whole list of things I SHOULD be doing. Or maybe it's just today or now that I'm feeling a tad restless/bored. I get so frustrated at myself when I feel opposite extremes of emotions like bored yet I have too many things I want to do. Or tired but energetic about something. I'm a weirdo.

So, out of compulsion, I made oreo muffins though I was quite tired. I actually ate one cause I was feeling hungry and now I regret it. I suspect that I have irritable bowel syndrome. So the tummy's rumbling quite a bit. hehe.

Oh, I had a looooong chat with my bro between the last paragraph and this one. And I'm too tired to remember what I wanted to blog about. I have so much time anyways so I can blog again when I remember...or if I remember...Teehee...