I had to wait until he's made his appearance before I could put this on. My listeningpoint still refuses to let me upload pictures so you'll have to click on This link.
After dinner, Zakky and I were just working through the 101 materials to prepare for our little 'test' tommorow. Contrary to what you all might think, I DO NOT HAVE THE QUESTIONS just because he's my bf and he's supposed to be the one handling the materials. I don't have a cheat sheet either. I just have someone who's a bit more familiar with the understanding and big picture. hehe. So, we cracked our brains working through the biblical story, as a whole.
Then we got a bit distracted. I was asking him about some e-mail forwarding to another e-mail bla bla bla crap. He tried getting me to use gmail but I was complaining about how they don't have a nice email address with my name in it. Then he got a bit carried away and started typing stupid names like winnie.kamming.home@gmail.com, winnie.kam.here, winnie.kam.lenglui, isaac.su.perman, isaac.su.perstar, tim.goh.away. I laughed like a mad cow.
It was quite funny.....hehe.
I was just staring blankly at my lap top screen wondering if I should blog. I never seem to find the right words to express fully or articulate accurately what's really going on in my head/heart. Maybe it's the lack of vocabulary. haha. Awesome, great, really, cool, yea....=) Ah well, either that or I write so truthfully that I know people shouldn't be reading it at all. I'm a weirdo, I know.
Tonight brings back too many painful memories. I don't know why I'm such an emotional person, remembering almost every detail of specific events that happened in the past and holding on to it although I know that the people involved think I'm way over it. I should be way over it. It feels like there's so much junk accumulating in me that I need to unload and be filled fresh again. Yet, I'm standing at the crossroad and still choosing to hang on to it.
Get a grip, Winnie!
I'm feeling uncontented. Frustrated that I was treated unjustly and yet not given the space to be hurt. Just sweep it under the carpet and not bring it up ever again, you said to me. Not just once. I recall so vividly how my heart sank when I saw those words typed out in our conversation. I realised suddenly, I mean so little to you. You never really heard my side of the story, cause by the time it all sunk in and I had figured it out, I wasn't supposed to say a word. Maybe the silence is prolonging the healing process. Cause it feels like you think there's nothing worth me hurting about. It was just a mistake.
Still, I choose to love cause I don't know any other way. I cannot bear to let my heart grow cold. At least not to you.
I hope you never read this, although I wish you would. It's ok. We're good at pretending that sometimes I surprise myself sometimes. Perhaps I'm the only one pretending.
I don't ever want to know if you read this. I'd be too ashamed and you would never have the guts to face it again. Let's just keep saying our Hello's and How are you's. I'll live with it....
I'm in a much better mood these days. I wonder if it's the change in weather. Not that the circumstances around me have changed much. In fact, my blindness have been exposed and what I once thought was great, I'm rethinking. I've been eating a LOT too these days. I'm SO NOT a chocolate kind of girl but I actually went and bought me some truffles from Koko black. And I had (very good) chocolate for brekkie on another day! tsk tsk.
Anyway, there's some problem with listeningpointdotus and I can't seem to upload pictures. So, I've returned to my once abandoned Multiply site and posted some pictures. . I wish I were a professional cook/baker/chef whatever-thehell-theycallem and post pics on like a food blog. whee...So fun. Then again, I'm not that fantastic a cook, just lurve to feed people. whee..So much joy in making people fat and happy =D
We just had our fortnightly Fruitful and Multiply gathering at my place. As usual, some of us were full of nonsense. ehehe. At the end of the meeting, some of them hung around to chill. Wennie then started on her 'Wennie-ism' mode. She threw out a few phrases that just cracked us up. Apparently, it's a very Aussie slang but I've only really heard it from her. Some of the phrases she uses frequently are...
Nice try, french fry
Far out, brussel sprout
In a while, crocodile
Easy peasy, lemon squeezy
See you later, alligator
Alright, vegemite
Same goes, rubber nose
See you all, basketball
All the best, hairy chest...(courtesy of candice)
My personal favourite was the last one. Now, to think of more.... =P
This is funny (at least to me lar).
I was chattin with Indy and she was telling me that she was actually listening to Christmas songs. Yar, in MAY. haha. So, I told her how I didn't like Christmas-y songs sometimes cause they make me feel depressed. Maybe just the whole feel of the songs and lyrics. yada yada. Then she replied,
miss c says:
listen tot henicer mor eupbeat ones
?????? I know. It took me a few seconds to process and figure out what she typed. She actually meant to type "listen to the nicer more upbeat ones". teeeheee. Indy darling, just had to blog about it cause it's so funny!
On another note, I've been trying to memorize Romans 8. Don't know if I'll make it through the whole chapter but I'll try. So far, it's until verse 11. It's so confusing cause Paul introduces so many different things although it's kind of the same thing. Iyar, chung chee it's like a tongue twister.
On another random note, I just remembered about a movie "The eternal sunshine of the spotless mind". What stood out for me after I watched the show was the option of erasing certain memories from their mind. I know some part of me wished I could do that. Then again, it wouldn't make me who I am and it would be a form of escapism from reality. NEED TO FACE IT, WINNIE KAMMMMMMM!
I'm hungry!