Giving and Taking Away

Dear Child,

Today was a funny one, a rather exhilarating one. We went to inspect one of the places in the morning - 10am in the morning to be precise. We were the only people there, the agent was nice - too nice, in retrospect. We really liked the place, and decided we were going to apply for it.

On the way out, the car was parked on an incline, and me, being your adventurous/try-it-all Dad, decided to give Winnie a driving lesson. We were parked on a pretty steep incline, with the front of the car facing upwards on the slope. Whenever Winnie would release the brake on her automatic car, the car would jerk backwards, and to make things even more exciting, there was another car parked behind us.

So I said, try slowly releasing the brake, and the car will hold itself (being an automatic car). What we didn't realize, that the car had its gear engaged in "R", which meant the car would accelerate backwards, instead of counteracting the backward force.

We tried it, and that experience made Winnie sick.

It also made me realize a few other things -
1. Winnie really does trust me.
2. The car won't hold itself on an incline if the gear is engaged in "Reverse".

No, we didn't cause any damage, thankfully.

I got back to the office, prepared all the documents to apply for the place, and even wrote a letter to the landlord, explaining how much we liked the place, and why we were the most eligible tenants on the face of this earth to lease this apartment.

In the afternoon, on the way to inspecting another property, I get a call from the agent telling me that my application was approved and we could move in on the date that I nominated on the application form. Winnie and I were over the moon. I remember saying many times "Phew... that's it. We've done it. That's all there is..." Such a sigh of relief. It was a nice feeling - we were thanking God, calling around and just being generally happy.

The rest of my day went just like that. It felt like a birthday and a present was handed over to me.

Uncle Euge even prayed a prayer of thanksgiving when I told him about it in the office. It was "miracle story" material. I so wanted it to be the miracle. I so wanted it to be done and over with.

I even called you your grandparents - it's their Anniversary today.

Much later in the afternoon though, things began to sink in. First, we realized that in fact, the price that we offered for the apartment was way above market rate - no wonder they were in such a hurry to seal the deal. No wonder they were so nice, and pleasant. We were sheep led to the slaughter.

That evening, Winnie and I got home, and we were talking about how all these things unfolded - blaming it on the migrants (haha...), the international students (double haha...), gentrification, the greed of humanity and every other possible scapegoat. We didn't really make an effort to include God in the picture, so you can imagine how icky the conversation got.

We did end up with a few other options and solutions to try out, but the point is it feels like we got to the first milestone of the race thinking that it was the finish line, only to realize there was some more to run - and you know how much Daddy hates running.

My child, here's what Daddy's learnt so far, and would like for you to know.

There are going to be lots of times when God does things that you like, and you're going to say "God did it. How great is He!". There are other times when God does things that you don't like, and you're going to say "Tough luck. God why don't you help me out here."

From what I've been able to conclude, nothing happens without God's intervention - and for some heart-wretching, stomach-churning reason, He gives and takes away. Everything will only make full sense in big-picture retrospect. Maybe the trick is to set your eyes on the view of the race FROM the finish line, while you're still in the race.

I know in less than two weeks' time, I'm going to look back on this incident, and I'll know that it was God all the way.

Love,

Daddy
05-Feb-08